Color Me Happy

Adding Emotional Nuance To Your Prose

By Mary Rosenblum

 

          When we settle down in that nice air conditioned theater to watch the romance or thriller or horror flick unfold, we don’t always notice the sound track.  But it is there, and it tints each scene with the right emotional color.  As the heroine tiptoes fearfully into the dark basement, the string section rises to a crescendo and we hold our breaths, waiting for the monster to leap out of the shadows.  When the star-crossed lovers reach for each other’s hand, the sighing music helps bring those tears to our eyes.  So how do we do this in our story, when we don’t happen to have a string section or full orchestra ready to perform for our readers? 

 

            We provide the violins, but we use words rather than musical notes.  Although many words are quite neutral, others carry a lot of nuance and these help set the emotional tone of the scene.  Think about your own day.  If you are depressed, do you notice dewdrops sparkling on the grass and appreciate the trills of that morning robin?  Or do you notice the unwashed dishes, the dust on the unswept porch, the car that needs washing.  Is it a lovely summer day or a hot and miserable afternoon?  By giving a little thought to specific adjectives and verbs, you can create the soundtrack that helps establish the emotional tone of the scene in the reader’s mind. 

 

Get Out the Box of Crayons

 

          Let’s look at a brief scene here.  This is our neutral scene, neither light and cheerful nor dark and scary:  Anne Marie walked down the path through the woods behind the church.  Tall oaks and maples provided shade and birds called from deep within the forest.  It was a warm summer afternoon.  Anne Marie glanced back at the church.  We’ve used that blah ‘flesh tone’ crayon from our box.  Not much emotional tone here at all.  

 

            Okay, this is very emotionally neutral.  We simply learn that Anne Marie walked through the woods, we get a few details about those woods, and she looks at the church.  Let’s now turn this into a happy scene.  Anne Marie is falling in love and the whole world sparkles in her eyes:

 

            Anne Marie danced down the narrow path behind the church.  Graceful oaks and maples spread a cool veil of shade across her path and birds trilled songs of joy amongst the green leaves.  The sun caressed her shoulders and Anne Marie spread her fingers as if to catch the golden light.  She glanced back at the quaint old church smiling in the sun. 

 

            You may not know why Anne Marie is in a good mood here, but clearly she is far from unhappy!  This scene is tinted with lots of positive, upbeat nuance  Let’s look at the crayons we have used to color this scene:  danced, graceful, cool veil of shade, trilled songs of joy, caressed, golden light, and the church is smiling in the sun. 

 

            Okay, erase that.  Now we’re going to take our neutral scene and tint it a nice, dark, scary color:  Anne Marie tiptoed down the muddy path behind the church, glancing often over her shoulder.  Ancient oaks clawed at the sky twigs like skeletal fingers and the maples loomed over her.  A bird shrieked from the shadows that crowded the path and a sickly light filtered through the mist.  Anne Marie glanced back once more.  The old church loomed behind her, its windows like empty eye sockets.

 

            The sun may be up, but this is surely a scary place to be and something may slink out of the shadows at any moment!  Here we have chosen the dark colors from our box of crayons:  tiptoed, muddy path, she’s glancing over her shoulder.  Oaks claw the sky with skeletal twigs and maples loom over her.  A bird shrieks, shadows crowd the path and the sun sheds a sickly light.  It is misty.  The old church looms and its empty windows look like empty eye sockets.  Brrr. 

 

            We can grab the crayon box again and color this with urgency:  Anne Marie raced down the path, her heart pounding.  Trees snatched at her, and birds fled, squawking, into the shadows.   Sweat stung her eyes and she gasped for breath, stealing a glance over her shoulder.  The church lurked behind her, patient. 

 

            This is the shortest version because, of course, she is too busy fleeing to notice much in the way of detail.  Birds squawk and flee in panic, adding to the sense of crisis.  Sweat stings her eyes and she is gasping, heart pounding.  Not out on a stroll, is she?  She steals a glance back (no time for a long look), and the church is back there lurking.  Patient.  Clearly whatever she is running from has to do with that church. 

 

Draw The Outline First, Then Color It In.

 

          But wait, I hear you say.  You have enough on your plate with plot, character, and describing the setting clearly without slowing down the story.  Now you have to worry about emotional tone, color, and crayons, too, for Pete’s sake? 

 

            No, you do not. Leave the crayons in their box while you write that first draft.  First drafts are the pictures in the coloring book.  They are there on the page, they present the basic story.  They come first, before you begin to color them in.  Let your story unfold in your first draft.  All you need to worry about during that draft is ‘what comes next?’.  That’s it.  Ignore all those editorial matters like vivid verbs, emotional shading, characterization and the rest. Just write.  Get to the end of the story.  Put all thoughts of craft out of your mind for now.

 

            Okay, you’ve finished the first draft.  Now you can go back and work through the story scene by scene, deepening your characterization, making that setting more vivid, and of course, adding the ‘sound track’, the emotional color, with your handy box of crayons.  Most nouns, verbs, and adjectives come in three colors; light, dark, and neutral.  Pay attention to your color scheme and your reader will hear that soundtrack without need of a single instrument!