Forum Transcripts

Creating Drama 9/27/05

Event start time:

Tue Sep 27 12:03:10 2005

Event end time:

Tue Sep 27 13:46:51 2005



Legend:
Questions from the Audience are presented in red.
Answers by the Speaker are in black.
The Moderator's comments are in blue.

mary rosenblum

Hello all!

mary rosenblum

I hope you had a very good weekend and are drying out after Rita's rainfall.

mary rosenblum

Welcome to our Tuesday Forum.

mary rosenblum

I wanted to talk about adding drama today, because it's something that a lot of novice writers have trouble with.

mary rosenblum

They can create a dramatic scene in terms of action, but often, the scene lacks drama even though it should...

mary rosenblum

provide a powerful dramatic peak.

mary rosenblum

And other times, you have a scene will little or no dramatic action, but it needs to be a dramatic peak..

mary rosenblum

so you can't rely on action to provide it.

mary rosenblum

And actually, creating drama is a matter of word craft and has little to do with action. :-)

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about adding drama. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

janecj333

Mary, any comment without the /ask doesn't even appear on your screen?

mary rosenblum

No, it doesn't Jane.

mary rosenblum

I wanted to talk about how to create drama when there isn't a lot of action to use as a crutch..

mary rosenblum

and how to make a dramatic action scene work to its greatest potential. It's remarkably easy to ruin dramatic action.

tkat_2

My instructor suggested some of my scenes be foreshadowed. Is there any other way to do this along with using dialoge?

mary rosenblum

Sure, tkat. And foreshadowing is very important.

mary rosenblum

If something seems to come out of 'nowhere', say a couple of your characters get into a fierce fight...

mary rosenblum

the drama of the scene will actually be reduced because your reader is distracted.

mary rosenblum

He/she is trying to figure out just why this is happening here and now.

mary rosenblum

But if we see the tensions mounting between the characters...even if it's just a couple of lines of dialogue...

mary rosenblum

then we can focus on the scene and we're not trying to figure out those 'hows'.

mary rosenblum

But you don't need to use dialogue.

mary rosenblum

You can use the character's actions...say our MC stares down the other character in a tense moment...

mary rosenblum

or avoids that character and is always keeping an eye on him...

mary rosenblum

then when that character attacks him, or he punches that character, we have the clues to tell us it was coming.

christopher dale

You could also foreshadow without dialog - depending on your sotry line. Something like 'Noticing the forest's sudden silence, they waited... But then have everythign go back to normal. Something happened, jsut not ready to reveal it - that would work

mary rosenblum

But I wouldn't use authorial narrative to do it, chris.

mary rosenblum

That's usually pretty noticeable to the reader and pops that reader right out of your world.

mary rosenblum

Let your POV notice that it's silent.

tkat_2

re Chris's suggestion: You also want to show not tell right?

mary rosenblum

Yes.

mary rosenblum

THat is nearly always your better choice, tkat.

mary rosenblum

Let's say you want a monster to leap out and attack your character.

mary rosenblum

If she is skipping along on a sunny day in a familiar park...the reader is going to get a real jolt here.

mary rosenblum

But if she enters the park skipping along and then hesitates...no birds are singing? Ardith shivered for no reason. Where were all the dogs and joggers? She looked around at the empty picnic tables...

mary rosenblum

And then...POW.

mary rosenblum

Out jumps the monster.

mary rosenblum

Now this is actually how you build drama into a scene.

mary rosenblum

You coud have her notice that this particular park is always empty three days before she actually visits it.

mary rosenblum

We'll remember that she noticed it's unusual silence back then when the monster jumps out.

mary rosenblum

Foreshadowing is simply introducing rising drama well before the actual dramatic scene...:-)

mary rosenblum

And then interrupting it with other action. It is a way to distract the reader...

mary rosenblum

so that the dramatic moment comes as a surprise, but we have the earlier hint to keep the reader from distractions.

mary rosenblum

You use it a LOT in mystery. That is how you plant clues and then get the reader to forget them until the climax.

christopher dale

unless we use Hollywood's practice of making that a BABY monster and the REAL monster comes later - LOL!

mary rosenblum

Yeah. :-) But Hollywood is nearly always a very bad example for prose.

geezer

Wouldn't you want to jolt the reader though?

mary rosenblum

Up to a point, geezer. You want a nice steep rollercoaster drop, but you don't want to bounce the reader right off the tracks. Readers and rollercoaster riders do NOT appreciate that long fall!

mary rosenblum

But foreshadowing and building drama are pretty much the same thing.

mary rosenblum

When you foreshadow you simply interrupt the initial start of the dramatic peak with another scene.

janecj333

Mary, tell us more about this authorial narrative taboo. I see published authors use it all the time to create mood, describe setting

mary rosenblum

Sure. And if you're writing narrative it works just fine.

mary rosenblum

Depends entirely on what you are trying to achieve, jane.

mary rosenblum

There is no ONE way to do anything.

mary rosenblum

Narrative is fiction where the author tells the story.

mary rosenblum

The author's voice contributes heavily to the effect of the story.

mary rosenblum

O'Henry's work is narrative and it's very effective.

mary rosenblum

If you are writing strongly charcter driven fiction where you want deep reader identification with the character...

mary rosenblum

narrative tends to be a poor choice, since it creates a screen of 'author' between that POV character and the reader.

mary rosenblum

If the plot matters...as in O'Henry's work and it's sufficient to create vivid characters...

mary rosenblum

but not necessary for deep reader identification...then narrative can work fine.

mary rosenblum

But remember...just because someone has done it doesn't mean that if YOU do it you will do it well.

mary rosenblum

There is a big gap between narrative and good narrative. :-)

mary rosenblum

And that's generally true...

mary rosenblum

just because so and so did it, doesn't mean that you will automatically do it as well or better. :-)

mary rosenblum

That's where practice and craft come in.

christopher dale

And I think the reason I excel in dialog is taht I lack a lot of GOOD narrative... 8-O

mary rosenblum

Most people do, chris. It's not easy to write narrative that is more than a monotone.

mary rosenblum

Tanith Lee does it well in dark fantasy.

mary rosenblum

She achieves a very strong 'fairy tale' narrative voice that really works well.

mary rosenblum

I can usually tell if she has written a story without looking at the byline.

mary rosenblum

That's the litmus test of powerful narrative in my opinion.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about adding drama. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

So let's look at drama.

mary rosenblum

And by the way, creating drama through narrative third is much the same as creating it through limited third or first person.

mary rosenblum

You use the same techniques.

janecj333

you mean you can recognize a Tanith Lee story, without seeing her name on it beforehand

mary rosenblum

Most of the time, jane.

mary rosenblum

There are many writers I can recognize without seeing their names first. :-)

mary rosenblum

I nan action scene, the action itself provides a lot of dramatic power, whether it's a fight, a chase scene, a murder, an angry confrontation.

mary rosenblum

And in these scenes it's pretty much a case of 'stay out of the way and let nature take its course'.

mary rosenblum

By that, I mean, don't distract the reader with too many words.

mary rosenblum

If the action itself drives the dramatic peak, a lot of words act like fog to soften that peak and blur it.

mary rosenblum

I have scene a LOT of action scenes where it was a matter of peeling layers of words away so that the action could actually drive the scene.

christopher dale

like a team going into a bunker to find a trap sprung on THEM - and they end up having to fight and bak their way out... Show the fight and the dialog of the soldiers int he fight, don't hang on too much descriuption of the place....

mary rosenblum

Exactly, Chris.

mary rosenblum

And the reason is this...

mary rosenblum

the way you communicate drama to the reader is to create the effect of that dramatic moment through your POV.

mary rosenblum

Think of it this way...

mary rosenblum

if you are strolling through the public park, you are going to notice a lot of details.

mary rosenblum

You have time, you are not under pressure, you are not emotionally focused on a problem.

mary rosenblum

So you sell a lot. It's a nice spring day, pretty flowers, kids, dogs, blue sky....all that stuff...

mary rosenblum

and the reader gets a nice tour of the park.

mary rosenblum

BUT...

mary rosenblum

if you are running through that park with a rabid dog on your heels...

mary rosenblum

what are you going to notice?

mary rosenblum

Most likely what is in your way that may slow you down!

mary rosenblum

You might see grass...dodge that swing set...head for that restroom, you can shut the door in the dog's face...

mary rosenblum

that sort of thing.

mary rosenblum

So in terms of description, you get snatches if image, and probalby not a lot of complex thought...

mary rosenblum

more likely an incoherent...'ohmygod' sort of thing.

mary rosenblum

If you take that 'chased by rabid dog' scene and you have the runner noticing the fall leaf color and the blue sky and thinking about how she ran across this park to greet her father when he got home from the hospital last week...

mary rosenblum

the reader is left with a quandry...

mary rosenblum

Jane could you share your comments as questions so that they can go into the transcript and people who aren't present can share them, too?

mary rosenblum

I'd appreciate it.

mary rosenblum

That way we don't interrupt each other.

mary rosenblum

It's a good comment. :-)

mary rosenblum

What Jane said was that some of the tsunami victims afterward said they saw nothing as they ran because of their panic.

mary rosenblum

And that is very typical of panic situations...

mary rosenblum

and of course you DO see things as you are doing whatever in a panic state...

mary rosenblum

you just don't remember much of it afterward.

mary rosenblum

And that is where a lot of dramatic scenes get spoiled...

mary rosenblum

because of a lot of description or character introspection that leaves the eader wondering...

mary rosenblum

if the scene is really tense or not.

christopher dale

One thing to remember though, is that some people are trained to ignore certain things. So a soldier, beating a retreat WOULD notice some thing. But that same soldier, running from a wall of water would probably not notice anything - so to keep it

mary rosenblum

Exactly...and that is a matter of characterization.

mary rosenblum

A trained fighter...a friend of mine for example... will notice all the moves of his opponent in a fight and remember them...

mary rosenblum

because he has had a lot of experience in physical assaults...

mary rosenblum

while someone who is set upon in an alley is less likely to see all those actions clearly...

mary rosenblum

he'll be stressed, unsure of himself, fighting back.

patchworkcat

Just a comment, action scene dialogue that is short and choppy can add to the intensity of the scene.

mary rosenblum

Exactly.

mary rosenblum

short, choppy prose generally suggests emotional stress, physical action, exertion...

mary rosenblum

any situation where the POV is under stress or out of breath or highly distracted.

mary rosenblum

Which is why long, complex, multi-clausal sentences can really weaken a dramatic action scene...

mary rosenblum

They suggest that there isn't stress or exertion or distraction.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about adding drama. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

The tougher task is to create drama over the breakfast table.

mary rosenblum

Here you have no action so you have to CREATE a sense of tension/stress/distraction.

mary rosenblum

And it is through language that you communicate that sensation to the reader.

mary rosenblum

It is not enough to say..'she felt tense'.

mary rosenblum

Telling us doesn't make US feel tense.

patchworkcat

If it's not too far off topic, would you explain the differences (and when they should be used) between the ellipse (. . .) and the dash (--) in dialogue or even scene description?

mary rosenblum

Patch, that's something that each publisher handles differently.

mary rosenblum

Use them as YOU feel comfortable and let your editor decide which one is preferable.

mary rosenblum

Myself, I use ... sparingly... to indicate a strong pause, usually when a charcter ends a thought abruptly.

patchworkcat

I didn't realize it was a publisher's option. I thought it would be up to the writer.

mary rosenblum

You're only half of the equation, patch.

mary rosenblum

While you are responsible for presenting a poweful piece of work that is pretty solidly correct, grammar and structurewise...

mary rosenblum

your editor is going to make improvements and change stylistic bits like that to suit the house stylesheet.

patchworkcat

True. I suppose writers tend to forget that sometimes. lol

mary rosenblum

Yeah, especially early in their careers before they've worked with editors.

mary rosenblum

And, to be honest, I have received almost no editing beyond stylistic tweaks and comma-catching from short story editors.

mary rosenblum

You see more content changes from nonfiction editors (for high end markets) and book editors.

sadie

Can't you do that with what he/she is thinking and body language?

mary rosenblum

It terms of creating drama...yes that is exactly how you do it, Sadie. :-)

mary rosenblum

And again...

mary rosenblum

through language.

mary rosenblum

If you show that tense body langauge and her anxious thoughts...

mary rosenblum

but you are also showing us that kitchen in detail and letting her pause to think about her backstory...

mary rosenblum

you have the same problem that you do when you show us too many details during an action scene.

mary rosenblum

It gives the reader the sense that she's not really very tense.

sadie

flashbacks? Can't they be tricky?

mary rosenblum

They can be, sadie. They're very useful in terms of letting the reader know exactly what transpired in the past...

mary rosenblum

but they not only stop the forward momentum of the story, they send it backward.

mary rosenblum

AND you run the risk that the reader will like the flashback universe better than your story universe. :-)

mary rosenblum

So be aware of what you do to the pace and dramatic arc of a story when you use them.

mary rosenblum

A lot of novice writers use them extensively to simply give us tons of back story.

mary rosenblum

Not the best way to insert backstory.

sadie

Is that what you mean by backstory? Perhaps, a brief flashback?

mary rosenblum

Backstory is simply the who/what/where/when/how that we have to know in order for the story to work.

mary rosenblum

Who is this character? Why is she here? You can slip this into the ongoing scene....but...and this is a BIG but...

mary rosenblum

NOT into a strongly dramatic scene...at least not in any quantity.

mary rosenblum

Your POV may be thinking about his relationship with his father until he and Dad get into it over the Thanksgiving table, and you may be able to slip in some quick bits of 'he's always like this' as son and he have at it...

mary rosenblum

but this is probably not the best place for a long reverie about his gradeschool years and how Dad changed or what have you.

seigfried007

Her fingers spidering over his eyes. Her nails biting into his forehead. His skull crashed into the head board again. They'll put me in the closet with the bad man. I can't fail her this time. She stopped, a look of disgust. NO! NOT THE CLOSET!

janecj333

that's a very intriguing comment, about the flashback universe. I know I use backstory when I feel it is essential, and I love it

mary rosenblum

But don't confuse backstory and flashback, jane.

mary rosenblum

Backstory is critical...a story has no context without it.

mary rosenblum

But 'flashback' means sending the reader back to relive an event with the POV...it is not a matter of thinking about that event...

mary rosenblum

It's the kind of look into the past where you write it as if it is happening NOW.

mary rosenblum

The difference is this:

mary rosenblum

Just like the Christmas when I was eight, Jerry thought. When Dad blew his top and broke my new bike.

mary rosenblum

That's backstory...

mary rosenblum

we now know something about Jerry's storm past with Dad and something about Dad's temper back then at least.

mary rosenblum

Flashback would be: Jerry closed his eyes, remembering. It had been there, under the tree. The Schwinn Racer, metal flake red, just like he'd wanted, all glittering silver with a skinny black seat.

mary rosenblum

He had stood there, frozen, while his sisters whooped and grabbed for their gifts. He got it. He really really got it.

mary rosenblum

This isn't just Jerry thinking that his dad broke his new bike on Christmas when he was eight...

mary rosenblum

we are reliving the scene with him.

sadie

Thank you! I understand the difference.

mary rosenblum

And of course, the flashback version is going to be MUCH more powerful than that thought.

mary rosenblum

BUT that is where you need to be careful.

mary rosenblum

That drama in the past needs to contribute to the drama of the present story...

mary rosenblum

if it does not, then it actually can take away from the present story.

sadie

because you don't want to take away from the scene at hand?

mary rosenblum

Yep. :-)

mary rosenblum

So sometimes, you need to tone down that backstory and let it be that thought.

mary rosenblum

And other times, that vivid reliving of the bike smashing scene might be a critical component of the story.

mary rosenblum

It simply depends on what you are trying to achieve.

mary rosenblum

But a LOT of vivid flashbacks like this, unless they ARE the story, will tend to weaken the dramatic power of your main story.

mary rosenblum

And sometimes the flashbacks ARE the story.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about adding drama. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

janecj333

when I read flashbacks in published novels, the more powerful they are, the more they hold my attention. If they are seemingly unimportant, I often skip them

mary rosenblum

And they should hold your attention...that means they're appropriate to the story.

mary rosenblum

The ones you skip are probably the ones that shouldn't have been there in the first place. :-)

mary rosenblum

Remember...sadly...publication is no guarantee of quality.

fiction_scribe

could you talk more about when "flashbacks ARE the story"? thanks

mary rosenblum

I'm trying to think of an readily accessible answer. Hmm....think of Moby Dick...

mary rosenblum

there is a ton of narrative there, and a lot of flashback.

mary rosenblum

This isn't an ideal example, but it's one most people have probably read...

mary rosenblum

and the 'main story' of the whale chase is not what is powerful about the novel.

mary rosenblum

That is contained in the narrative and flashback.

seigfried007

you mean, 'when flashbacks are more interesting than the story?'. shouldn't that mean you oughtta tell the prequel? ;-)

mary rosenblum

Not necessarily, seig. There are many many ways to tell a story..

mary rosenblum

and how you tell it is a big part of that. :-)

texasrose

Is past perfect always used in flashbacks? Thanks, Mary.

mary rosenblum

That would be a narrative flashback, texas.

mary rosenblum

It has more the effect of the character remembering the event...and softens the impact of the piece. I"m not even sure I would call that a flashback...

mary rosenblum

Flashback tends to be written in the tense of the main story and to simply take the reader back in time to live an event over with the POV as if it is happening right now.

mary rosenblum

And obviously, the transitions are critical!

sadie

Been there, done that! That and when someone tells me the same thing 15 times in 4 paragraphs!

mary rosenblum

For the poor flashbacks, you mean, sadie?

mary rosenblum

Yep. And the 15 times in 4 paragraphs is BAD editing!

janecj333

and I have read that editors frown on flashbacks in first-time novelists' work

mary rosenblum

WEll, that's one of those 'rules' that really aren't jane.

mary rosenblum

Editors don't frown on flashbacks per se.

mary rosenblum

It's just that first time novelists don't usually handle flashbacks well and they cause problems for the story.

mary rosenblum

If you use flashback WELL the editor won't complain at all.

sadie

Yes, sorry, it took forever for my comment to pop up.

mary rosenblum

Yes, sometimes there is a big lag between when someone responds to a comment and when I get the question...

mary rosenblum

probably has to do with your connection or your software or what have you. :-)

mary rosenblum

That's why I take questions out of order so often during my professional connection interviews. By the time some questions get to me, we've moved on...

mary rosenblum

so I try to circle back and pick 'em up later.

mary rosenblum

And, to get back to Jane's question...

mary rosenblum

this 'rules are not rules' is something you need to keep in mind about a lot of these 'never do this..' caveats you read in books on writing.

mary rosenblum

DOn't use multiple POV for a short story.

mary rosenblum

Don't open with a flashback.

mary rosenblum

etc, etc...

mary rosenblum

what you have to realize is that these are not rock solid 'thou shalt nots'.

mary rosenblum

You can find tons of examples of good fiction that breaks every one of those rules!

mary rosenblum

BUt...what they actually mean is...this is very difficult to do WELL, maybe you should try something easier first.

mary rosenblum

The only thing that matters is 'does this work'...

mary rosenblum

and that depends on what you want to achieve as much as anything.

mary rosenblum

You can have a story that is highly style driven, with little action, is an elegant look at human nature in a slice of life vignette where nothing happens and nobody changes.

mary rosenblum

And it can be stunning.

mary rosenblum

And it can be awful, too, and it's a WHOLE lot harder to have it end up stunning than have it end up awful. :-)

mary rosenblum

You can have a story with 6 POVs in 3000 words.

mary rosenblum

Should you run out and try it?

mary rosenblum

Go ahead. Go for it.

mary rosenblum

Don't be surprised if it doesn't work well...it's a good thing to try and it's very hard to pull off.

mary rosenblum

Should you never try it?

mary rosenblum

No.

mary rosenblum

You'll never grow as a writer.

mary rosenblum

But just because it is possible does not mean that you will get it to work every time. :-)

mary rosenblum

THat is what those 'rules' are all about.

mary rosenblum

They are not rules.

mary rosenblum

They are 'lane markers' saying...'Rough Road Here'.

t green

that's why i got myself a "4x4" pen! lol!

mary rosenblum

There you go, t. :-)

mary rosenblum

With non-directional off-road tread, right?

janecj333

yes, it is a rough road

mary rosenblum

It is, and many writers choose not to take it. :-)

t green

of course... try something new every day... you just might like it!

mary rosenblum

THat's a standard recommendation of mine to students...

mary rosenblum

You grow by experimenting. Just realize that you are not required to write a masterpiece every time you sit at the keyboard or pad.

mary rosenblum

I have tons of scenes, stories, what have you that are my experiments.

mary rosenblum

Some turn into stories and get published, others haven't worked yet, but they've all been fun 'stretching exercises'.

janecj333

Mary, how would you characterize your sf writing...what subgenre?

mary rosenblum

I've been called a number of things, jane. I write hard SF...my stuff has one toe in reality, and it's strongly character driven. My favorite label is 'cyber humanist' and I got called a 'cyber feminist' in one college textbook on sf in literature. :-) That was cool.

mary rosenblum

Anyway, to summarize drama...

mary rosenblum

remember that fewer words, choppier prose, help give the reader a sense of pressure, stress, tension, exertion.

mary rosenblum

Long, languid, complex sentences suggest leisure and relaxation.

mary rosenblum

The stronger the drama of the scene, the more you need to strip your language to the bare minimum...

mary rosenblum

In scenes with little action, character body language and the occasional thought can provide the drama...

mary rosenblum

that action would provide in an action scene.

mary rosenblum

Pay attention to how people move and hold their bodies in times of emotional or physical stress...

mary rosenblum

we readers know what stress looks like and if your characters reveal it in the way they move, we'll read it, even subconsciously.

mary rosenblum

Oh...I did have an email question that I meant to address here:

mary rosenblum

I wish I could attend! An editor and an agent like my story at the conference I attended this weekend, but... there's always a but. :-) My current beginning (changed from one too rambling and not dramatic enough) is now too "dramatic" (I have to work in our office today.) in that it gets into a rape scene before the reader knows--and therefore apparently would care about - the character

mary rosenblum

Anyway--if you have some TIPS for balancing those in the first page, I'd sure appreciate hearing them (again?). It is what I would ask if I could be there.

mary rosenblum

This is from Tory.

mary rosenblum

Starting with a dramatic scene can certainly work.

mary rosenblum

I haven't read Tory's scene, alas.

mary rosenblum

Starting with a dramatic scene can work just fine.

mary rosenblum

It could be that this scene is so graphic that it may repell readers.

mary rosenblum

They don't care about any characters yet and they may decide they really don't want to go here.

mary rosenblum

A friend of mine had a horror story backfire that way.

mary rosenblum

She opened with an incredibly grisly rape and murder scene and I watched an entire room of listeners at a reading turn OFF.

mary rosenblum

There wasn't enough to entice any of us to keep going after that!

lore alley

so how do get readers to like your character enough in a dramatic first scene that they actually care that something bad is happening?

mary rosenblum

That's the difficulty...you cannot do that.

mary rosenblum

This may not be the right first scene.

mary rosenblum

If we care about the character, we can suffer through the graphic violence here...

mary rosenblum

but if we don't like the graphic violence and we have no guarantees that anything better will come along...we may not read on.

janecj333

this reminds me of a how-to article or book (I can't remember) called How Not to Open With a Bang

mary rosenblum

No kidding. :-)

sadie

Sounds a lot like when I read, attempted to read, KISS THE GIRLS. I can take a lot, but right off the bat I was being asked to deal with a lot of this guy's very sick perversions.

mary rosenblum

Now if you're writing for seasoned horror readers, a first scene of people being disemboweled might work. :-)

mary rosenblum

While a dramatic starting scene...even in cinematic (no POV at all) can be very effective...

mary rosenblum

if the scene is distasteful, you may shoot yourself in the foot.

geezer

Yet Koontz says to start out with action

mary rosenblum

But action is not graphic violence, rape, torture...it is ACTION.

mary rosenblum

And that is a very good way to begin if you can.

sadie

I teach my 4th graders to begin one of 4 ways - suspense, dialogue, with a ?, or an interesting fact. Something to grab the reader. But I don't think most readers can handle an immediate jump into particauraly sexual perversions.

mary rosenblum

And that's the difference.

mary rosenblum

All action is not equal.

mary rosenblum

A scene of a young woman jumping a hunter over a high fence and falling, people running to her aid...that's an action scene with a certain level of violence...

mary rosenblum

she has fallen and is hurt.

mary rosenblum

Here, readers are more likely to read on to find out if she is okay.

mary rosenblum

But that hook is your introduction to the reader.

mary rosenblum

If someone is burning alive on the first pages, I doubt I'm going to read on.

mary rosenblum

NOW...that said...if this is by a writer I read often, whose work I trust...

mary rosenblum

then I'll say 'okay, you grossed me out, but I bet you give me a good read, so I'll skim over this...and you'd BETTER make this worth my while'.

mary rosenblum

ANd I will read on.

mary rosenblum

So you will find this kind of 'I"m doing it anyway' opening more often in established writers.

sadie

Yeah, but you know what to expect down the road from that author. Us newbies don't have that yet.

mary rosenblum

My point exactly, sadie. :-)

mary rosenblum

And actually, it won't always work for you.

mary rosenblum

The writer I mentioned earlier was established...but she still lost a lot of readers with that opening.

mary rosenblum

But she does tend to throw horror into her stuff, so I suspect a lot of folks figured things wouldn't get better. :-)

mary rosenblum

And that book did VERY poorly in sales.

sadie

Exactly. I've had some of my favorite authors try something different like this. Didn't care for the book, but still was a loyal fan.

mary rosenblum

Yes, most of us are willing to live with a less than wonderful book from our favorite authors...if they don't do it too often. LOL

lore alley

so the accident scene (I presented in the workshop several weeks ago) may be an okay first scene even though readers don't know the character yet? but if I follow that scene with one of him trapped in a burning vehicle and trying desperately to escape (written in limited 3rd) I might turn people off?

mary rosenblum

I can't remember you scene in exact detail, lore, sorry...

mary rosenblum

but if we are getting to know your character as he struggles to overcome this situation, that's not going to turn readers off.

mary rosenblum

Or it shouldn't. Most of us have an automatic positive response to the person in trouble.

sadie

It seems to be easier to take the gore in the movies than in a book, at least for me. In the movies, it's over in seconds. There is more of a detailed picture created in my mind with the book that is lasting.

mary rosenblum

Yep. Which is why, in my opinion, movies will never banish books.

mary rosenblum

Well, we've gone way over our Oregon Hour. :-)

mary rosenblum

Gonna end up an Oregon Two Hours if I don't watch it.

mary rosenblum

I'll post the transcript of this in Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.

childatheart

is being recommended for the advance program for LRW genuine

mary rosenblum

Yes, Child, it sure is. :-) It's a good course and since you're going to be sending work out for submission, you have to have a certain level of craft to begin with.

mary rosenblum

Child you can find a bunch of LR students in the audience to ask questions of.

mary rosenblum

I'll see you all in the AM...

mary rosenblum

for our casual chat.

mary rosenblum

Same time, same station. :-)

mary rosenblum

We just get together to talk about whatever we choose to talk about.

sadie

Thanks, Mary. I don't get to join often due to teaching. I enjoyed it.

mary rosenblum

Glad you could make it, Sadie!

mary rosenblum

Great that you teach!

mary rosenblum

Have a good week, all!

 

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