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mary rosenblum
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Hi, all!
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels and
more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you
have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a
Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the
top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't
reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send
bar if that works better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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I hope you've all had a good
week, and are ready for our 'hands on' workshop tonight!
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mary rosenblum
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We're going to try something
new, and if it works well...
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mary rosenblum
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I will probably do more
'workshops' like this.
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mary rosenblum
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Tonight we're going to start
with idea and end up with a fully fleshed short short story...
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mary rosenblum
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ready to write.
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mary rosenblum
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We have to have a few rules
here.
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mary rosenblum
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I'm not going to be able to
post all the suggestions I get, so I"m going to cherry pick the ones
that will best serve the process..
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mary rosenblum
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I apologize in advance if I
can't post yours. It doesn't mean it wasn't good. I'll get WAY more than I
can handle!
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mary rosenblum
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Anyone can write the story we
work on tonight. Anyone can submit it.
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mary rosenblum
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Believe me, if every one of
you wrote it and sent it in, they would all be different.
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mary rosenblum
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Tell you what...later in the
year, when I am not QUITE so swamped as I am right now...
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mary rosenblum
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we'll do this again, and I'll
call for submissions from those of you who actually write the story we
create...
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mary rosenblum
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and you can all see how one
idea ...even one that is fleshed out into a story...will be different for
every writer.
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mary rosenblum
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But that will be fall! I have
NO time up through August!
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mary rosenblum
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So let's begin here. Send me
some ideas for a very short story. we need some kind of
characater/conflict.
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roe
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are you going to make it a
contest
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mary rosenblum
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Probably not, roe, more of an
example of why ideas aren't worth protecting. :-)
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speckledorf
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Man finds bag of money on street
corner
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mary rosenblum
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Okay, here we have an action
with lots of branching consequences.
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mary rosenblum
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Shall we go with that? Other
options?
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patchworkcat
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Wife is pregnant and husband
needs job
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roe
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over 250 thousand dollars
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t green
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mom can't pay rent cuz she blew
the last of her paycheck on gambling
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twhorn
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how about a Pirate adventurew
with a captain who just can't seem to get it right, but always comes out
smelling like rose
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seabeewife
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A young girl finds out that her
father isn't really her dad
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mary rosenblum
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Okay, let's look at what we
have here and choose one of these.
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mary rosenblum
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We have the bag of money found
on the street.
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mary rosenblum
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We have Mom who can't pay the
rent becuase she's a gambler.
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mary rosenblum
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We have a girl who finds out
Dad isn't Dad.
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mary rosenblum
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And we have a Pirate adventure
with a klutz who always lands on his feet. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Let's evaluate them all in
terms of a strong short short, because we're aiming for under 2000 words.
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mary rosenblum
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We'll do longer stories and
novels at other Forums.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, the Pirate adventurer is
probably too large a plot for this. We have to set up quite a bit of back
story so that the reader knows he's a perpetual klutz with good luck...
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mary rosenblum
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AND...we have to have an
action adventure. That requires a fair amount of description and words.
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mary rosenblum
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This is probably a plot that
would be better served by a short story...something four or five thousand
words long, maybe.
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mary rosenblum
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Our Mom with no rent money,
girl with a non genetic Dad, and bag of money can all be intimate plots and
CAN work as a short short.
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mary rosenblum
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Our girl and mom are clearly
going to be very intimate character stories where the conflict is within
the person.
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mary rosenblum
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We can come up with a lot of
conflicts for those.
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mary rosenblum
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The bag of money story is
going to be more plot driving...does he keep it or return it?
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mary rosenblum
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Or try to, at least. It has a
more allegorical feel to me.
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mary rosenblum
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Might be a 'careful what you
wish for' story, too.
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mary rosenblum
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This could be tough to do well
in less than 2000 words unless we can make it a punchline story...
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mary rosenblum
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where his conflict over the
money is quickly and perhaps humorously resolved.
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mary rosenblum
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Our two character stories...mom
and the girl...can work well, since we can use a single scene where the MC
comes to a life changing decision.
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mary rosenblum
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Is one easier than the other?
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mary rosenblum
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Oh yes.
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mary rosenblum
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Our readers will start off not
liking our mother.
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mary rosenblum
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She is a gambling addict, she
is hurting her children.
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mary rosenblum
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It will require more words for
us to make the reader care about her, and we must, in order for this
character plot to succeed.
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mary rosenblum
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We can do it, but it will be
more difficult with our short word limit. But we CAN do it, probalby by
using a strong secondary character who somehow in a single interaction...
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mary rosenblum
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makes her see what she is
doing and make a life-changing decision.
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mary rosenblum
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Our girl is a neutral or even
positive character, so we don't have to spend time making readers like her.
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mary rosenblum
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We can 'cut to the chase' and
get busy with her interaction with Dad, so we can spend all our precious
words bringing these characters to life and making their ineraction matter
to the reader.
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mary rosenblum
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Of all our scenarios, this is
the best one to use as a short short. You can do a short short story with
the others...
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mary rosenblum
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but it will require more work
and they may not be as strong.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels and
more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you
have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question'
button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the
screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me!
Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if
that works better for you..
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mary rosenblum
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We're doing a hands on short
story crafting workshop tonight...building a short short from the ground
up.
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mary rosenblum
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Let's go with our girl,
realizing Dad isn't genetically her Dad. This is our idea...our seed.
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mary rosenblum
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Okay, now we need potential
conflicts. Yes, he's not her genetic Dad, but he has acted as Dad in her
life, so what causes a conflict for her?
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dbamarsha
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Can you combine all of those to
make a short story?
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mary rosenblum
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Sure, marsha. But not a 2000
word story, that's for sure! :-)
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tkat_2
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a child realizes that she is
biracial
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mary rosenblum
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That could be part of the Dad
story.
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janp
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Mother hasn't spoken to daughter
in 20 years. Father is dying
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mary rosenblum
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That could be good back story.
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bud
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what if the girl who finds out
her dad isn't her dad finds the bag of money
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mary rosenblum
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We could do it, but here we're
essentially introducing a major subplot. That is going to more than double
the length of the story, so that is...
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mary rosenblum
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probably one to use for the
5000 word version! :-)
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t green
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conflict is Dad has ALWAYS made
a point of telling her to be honest
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mary rosenblum
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Good one, T. That is a very
internal character conflict. Dad walked on water for her, and lo, he has
feet of clay!
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janp
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Her parents lied to her all
these years
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patchworkcat
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She feels betrayed because she
wasn't told about it years ago
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, these are realistic and
useful internal conflicts.
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paja
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Her real father shows up at her
wedding
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mary rosenblum
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Aha...
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mary rosenblum
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here's one that brings that
'you lied to me' to a dramatic focus. Nothing like airing the family
laundry in church at a wedding!
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mary rosenblum
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You wouldn't need a lot of
back story to set this one up, either.
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helen h
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for conflict how about she just
found out she has a gene-based disease
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mary rosenblum
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That's a strong potential,
helen, if she is now pregnant and would not have gotten pregnant had she
known she might carry the gene.
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mary rosenblum
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Dark story there, though.
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lilithangel
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It occurs to me that the horror
genre really works at odds with many of the traditional rules. Many of my
main characters are not likable. On the Mom story, I instantly thought,
well, you don't have to like the Mom for horror, the kids could sell her
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mary rosenblum
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That's true, LIlith. A lot of
horror uses the 'come uppance' principal. We don't like the characters much
so we don't have a lot of emotional investment and can 'enjoy' the gore.
:-)
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catydorr
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When you short story--how many
words are working here?
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mary rosenblum
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Caty, we're trying for under
2000 tonight..closer to 1000. The short short.
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mary rosenblum
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A short story can go to 6000
words.
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smilingsunflower
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girl needs surgery and discovers
incompatible blood type
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mary rosenblum
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That's a good way for her to
find out, but since we're very limited it may take more backstory than we
can spend words on. I would save that for a longer version.
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sam2
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turns out her fiance is her
brother
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mary rosenblum
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woohoo, now there's a conflict
for you, sam!
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mary rosenblum
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Wow, I'd hate to be in Dad's
shoes when he explains that one!
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mary rosenblum
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That's gonna be hard to
resolve in a short short, though. The resolution will take place in a
larger time frame.
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mary rosenblum
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She is going to have to
recover from this forced break up and forgive...or not...her 'dad'.
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mary rosenblum
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This is an excellent conflict
for a longer story.
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mary rosenblum
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What I am doing by taking
these suggestions and examining them...
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mary rosenblum
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is trying to illustrate the
process of 'refining' a story idea to the length you need.
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mary rosenblum
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That way, you don't write a
sprawling 11000 word story that has no market.
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mary rosenblum
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This is something you DO as a
pro writer, and the skill of creating a plot to suit the needed length..
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mary rosenblum
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is something most writers take
years to learn. Hopefully this will shortcut the process for you all. :-)
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wildcountryca
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what if she over hears a
conversation with mom and stepdad about her real dad
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mary rosenblum
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That's a good way for her to
discover the problem. As with the arrival at the wedding, it takes us
immediately into the problem...
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mary rosenblum
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Let's hang on to those two, so
far. :-)
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hedwig
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If the reader is supposed to
like the mother in the end, then the "new" father needs to be
problematic in some way, right?
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mary rosenblum
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Hedwig, I think here, for this
short piece, we are best off to focus on the daugher and Dads...
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mary rosenblum
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Her conflict needs to be
resolved. That may mean accepting Dad's lie and forgiving him...
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mary rosenblum
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or facing 'real dad' and
finding a way to forgive them both.
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mary rosenblum
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But I think acceptance is the
character change that we are most likely to use as our resolution is her
coming to terms with this somehow.
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twhorn
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Casey Kasem and his wife were
not related but their DNA turned to be so close, they could be brother/sister.
just a thought
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mary rosenblum
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And that's a good plot
complication for a longer story. It's one of those unlikely realities that
you just pretend didnt' happen in a story like this, twhorn. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Actually, statisitically that
is incredibly unlikely, but it CAN happen. Hmmm...
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mary rosenblum
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hey mystery writers in the
audience...there's a great idea for you all.
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speckledorf
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Real father turns up...or fake
dad commits a crime
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mary rosenblum
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Real father is good, but the
crime...hmmm...might be too much or might not.
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mary rosenblum
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She might find out that dad is
NOT dad when he gets arrested...
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mary rosenblum
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he has been 'hiding' in the
family for years. Double whammy of a shock and now he's gone with the cops
and she is MAD at Mom.
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sam2
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nothing like a little wedding
cake slinging for fun
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mary rosenblum
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Taht would be fun if we do the
Dad at wedding plot.
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roe
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maybe her real father just found
out about her too
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mary rosenblum
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that's a good one, roe. We
have real dad who didn't even know she existed, so he didn't walk out.
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jdoyon
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how much of a plot can you
cover?
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mary rosenblum
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As in how, jdoyon?
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mary rosenblum
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How much can we include here
in the summary? All of it. :-)
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dbamarsha
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Has not seen her
"real" dad since she was 4 and now he wants to see her. "non
genetic" dad is not sure it's a good idea.
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mary rosenblum
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That's a good conflict,
marsha, but it's not the Dads' story, not the girls. You could do it this
way.
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anne shiever of ks
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Sorry I am late, is there a way
to view what I have missed out on
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mary rosenblum
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HI, Anne, you'll have to read
the transcript after we're done. We're building a short short story from
scratach right now. Two thousand words as a limit.
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mary rosenblum
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This is our After Hours Forum,
with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor. I've published seven novels and
more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you
have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a
Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the
top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't
reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send
bar if that works better for you..
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wildcountryca
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if she hears the two people in
the world she trusts the most talking she would have to be convinced of
their love
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, wild, and it would be a
good conflict. Why did you lie to me? How has that changed what I believed
in?
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catydorr
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Dreams wake her a feeling
something is wrong--missing in her life
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catydorr
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Have it happen in a
day--dream--conflict-confronts stepdad
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mary rosenblum
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That could work. My internal
word counter tells me that it's covering too much time for 2000 words.
Maybe 4000.
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mary rosenblum
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I think with our narrow limit,
we're stuck with a single scene or we can't spend enough words on the
characters.
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roe
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her real father was in the
service. mother never told him
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mary rosenblum
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oooh, this could be a nice MIA
story...
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mary rosenblum
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Mom got pregnant as Dad left
for war. Vietnam? MIA and he was scarred, didn't want to intrude. Something
like that.
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janp
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True, bio. father is---father of
the groom
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mary rosenblum
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That's a powerful dark
plot...the incest thing. But the resolution can't take place in a single
scene, so this has to go into our 'longer story' file.
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senicynt
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Perhaps, her dad has a genetic
illness and daughter is afraid that she will inherit the disease . that's
when she's told she'
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senicynt
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That's when she's told she's not
his biological daughter
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mary rosenblum
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Great idea, sen. You have
solved a problem that all the plot ideas we've considered have had so
far...
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mary rosenblum
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either a fuzzy conflict that
can't be resolved quickly (why did you lie to me), or a conflict that is
gonig to require a downbeat end...
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mary rosenblum
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What if her fiance tells her
that he has a genetic disease and her father has it, too.
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mary rosenblum
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Now they can't have kids and
he wanted kids, so she is going to break off the engagement.
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mary rosenblum
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Now we can have Dad reveal his
'fake' status genetically, but he does it to ensure her happiness
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mary rosenblum
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So even though she is shocked
and wounded at this lie, she can marry the man she loves and the readers
can have a pretty uncomplicated and happy end.
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mary rosenblum
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In VERY few words.
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lilithangel
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She sees her Dad turn into a
giant insect at night and thinks he's not her real Dad til she ends up
turning into a pupae and realizes, in horror, he IS her real dad.
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, go write that one! that's
a good horror story if there ever was one! I dare you! :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Actually, you COULD do this as
a 2000 word story, too.
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mary rosenblum
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Have her watching him turn
into mothra, or whatever he turns into, and make her kind of an unlikeable,
snotty girl...
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mary rosenblum
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who disrespects her mother and
says something unpleasant about him.
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mary rosenblum
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And mom smiles and says...did
I ever tell you about your father? Just as she starts to become a pupa.
LOL.
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mary rosenblum
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There you have a 2000 word
horror story, lilith. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Use nice vivid details.
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mary rosenblum
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The reason this one was easy
to come up with is that it doesn't require any reader-character
identification.
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mary rosenblum
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She gets hers and that
satisfies the reader.
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mary rosenblum
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In a VERY short story, you are
looking for a plot that will allow us to resolve the conflict without
developing the character...
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mary rosenblum
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because we don't have enough
words to develop a character.
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mary rosenblum
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We need a conflict and character
who can reach resolution through an event, rather than internal growth.
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mary rosenblum
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Now our daughter/father story
is character drive and we DO want the readers to like her.
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mary rosenblum
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Let's go with that one, so
that we don't run out of time.
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mary rosenblum
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Hang on while I clean my
blackboard up here. You all had LOTS of good suggestions, but we don't have
six hours tonight. My fingers wont' last that long. Just a sec...
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jdoyon
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well, you need to have conflict
and resolution but how do you do that in 2,000 words
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mary rosenblum
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That's where we're going right
now, jdoyon.:-)
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mary rosenblum
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oops, shayon, I deleted your
question by accident.
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mary rosenblum
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Shayon asked what a down beat
end is.
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mary rosenblum
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That is a story end where the
MC doesn't succeed or in some way ends up injured.
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mary rosenblum
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So we walk away sad for that
character.
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mary rosenblum
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Many powerful stories have
downbeat ends, but they are tougher to pull off than upbeat.
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mary rosenblum
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Okay, we have a conflict. But
the conflict is no longer with Dad!
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mary rosenblum
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We have changed it. The
conflict is with herself over marriage...
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mary rosenblum
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Her fiance has revealed that
he carries a genetic problem and so does her father.
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mary rosenblum
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There is a greater than fifty
percent possibility that their children will inherit both genes and thus
die young.
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mary rosenblum
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And he tells her that this is
okay, but she knows that he wanted children more than anything in the
world...
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mary rosenblum
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so she is deciding that she
should break off the engagement. this is the conflict...the need to tell
him to go away.
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seabeewife
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Like in The Heart is a Lonely
Hunter
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ejamortizer
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I love evolving conflicts! They
keep me guessing...
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mary rosenblum
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Yep. Okay, so how do we do
this in 2000 words? We need to start somehwhere folks, and we have ONE or
maybe Two.
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mary rosenblum
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Suggestions?
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mary rosenblum
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Remember, back story takes up
words, so we want to show the reader as much backstory as we can...
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mary rosenblum
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in the scene itself.
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senicynt
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Daughter is torn by deciding to
marry or not. Conflict with herself over the nature of true love. She wants
kids but wants her own yest knows the kids will be sick if both marry.
fiance wants kids but not at that cost. they need to decide to split or
adopt. When her father admits that she is not his daughter, the daughter is
happy. But has the emotional storm prior to the revelation tested their
marriagability? Did the couple go for true love together anyway or did they
opt to split?
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, and this is a longer
version, sen, since it involves both of them. It will be a deeper and
richer story, but won't work well in 2000 words.
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ejamortizer
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She finds out that her fiance
has the same disease because he is her dad's real son!
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mary rosenblum
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Now there's a twist! You know,
you could do this in the 2000 words, but I think there you are walking that
'this is just to strange to work' line, eja. I'm chuckling!
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mary rosenblum
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Your readers might think this
streches coincidence a bit too far. :-)
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seabeewife
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How does she find out fiance has
disease?
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mary rosenblum
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His parents told him, not
expecting her to have the same problem, and he told her the night before.
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mary rosenblum
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I think we need to keep him
out of this scene and let it be between her and Dad.
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roe
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she breaks off the engagment but
doens't tell parents why
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mary rosenblum
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Or thinks about breaking it
off...
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sailor
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How about starting with her
preparing how shw is going to tell fiance she can't marry him?
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dbamarsha
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She goes to her dad and tells
him that she is calling off the wedding. When he asks why, she tells him
about fiance's disease.
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, I think this is the place
to begin.
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mary rosenblum
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We keep him offstage, in order
to keep the word count down. She is weeping, maybe writing him a letter and
she's going to enclose the ring.
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mary rosenblum
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Maybe Dad walks in and
questions her.
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mary rosenblum
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She tells him that she is
breaking it off and why.
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mary rosenblum
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Okay, this is a short scene
and as they talk...look what we can do?
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mary rosenblum
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We can fill in ALL the back
story as Dad asks her about her actions, she explains...aha..the readers
now know all. Aren't we clever, though? ;-)
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jdoyon
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she and her dad have always had
a good relationship so she goes to him for advice. She is really torn about
this.
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mary rosenblum
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That could work, too jdoyon.
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mary rosenblum
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I think, for those proposals
that had her telling her fiance it was off, it adds a scene that will take
this way past 2000 words.
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mary rosenblum
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When you are trying to write
short, the fewer characters who are actually on stage, the fewer words you
need to use.
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mary rosenblum
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So here, I think we'll have to
leave fiance out until the end of the story or completely.
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mary rosenblum
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So we can have dad discover
her breking it off or she can go to dad.
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mary rosenblum
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This is about one short scene,
maybe 500 words. We have LOTS left so where do we go now? How do we rachet
up the tension. And BIG question...
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mary rosenblum
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whose story is this? Whose POV
are we in?
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seabeewife
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i think the letter and ring is a
good idea
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seabeewife
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it could be on her dressing
table
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mary rosenblum
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I like that, too, seabee. Good
drama!
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senicynt
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But with the revelation that dad
is not her real dad, isn't that the ...waddya call it. I forgot the
word...?.... mechanica, or the easiy ending that comes out of nowhere.
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mary rosenblum
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Deus ex machina?
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mary rosenblum
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It would be, sen...except
we're going to make it COST him. Yeah, she's off the hook, but he LIED to
her.
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shannon
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Would she admit all this to Dad?
Isn't it too hurtful? I thi
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mary rosenblum
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That's a good point, shannon.
I like it better if Dad catches her putting that ring in the envelope and
asks her what she is doing...presses for an explanation.
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ejamortizer
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Do open ended ending work here?
The story could continue in another story?
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mary rosenblum
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Well, we can leave some stuff
unresolved if we resolve the main conflict...the marriage. Which we will.
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seabeewife
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we should be in the girls POV
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shayon-joseph
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POV has to be hers, is my vote
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paja
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If we're in her POV we learn how
to handle grief and anger. If we're in dad's POV we learn about honesty and
humility.
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wildcountryca
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once she is told about the
disease of finance and written the letter, couldn't dad come and as already
stated press her for explanation
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, wild, exactly!
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mary rosenblum
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Well, the girl was the POV I
first started with, but I think we need to be in the Dad's POV in order for
us to avoid...
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mary rosenblum
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the very real question of deus
ex machina.
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mary rosenblum
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What if Dad loves her and
knows that this revelation will fracture her trust in him? He has TOLD her
all her life that she is his.
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mary rosenblum
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Now he has to say "I
lied'.
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mary rosenblum
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If he does not, then she won't
marry the perfect husband, but his secret is safe.
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mary rosenblum
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If he does, she may never
trust him again.
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mary rosenblum
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Aha...surprise...it's HIS
conflict, not hers!
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wildcountryca
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as she hesitantly tells dad, he
realizes he must tell her the truth about her real dad
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mary rosenblum
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Yep. And will he? Maybe he
says at first, ah, she'll find somebody just as good...
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ejamortizer
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Is this story too short for 2
POV's?
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mary rosenblum
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You could try it. Might work.
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seabeewife
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he has lived all his / her life
as she is his
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mary rosenblum
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Right. Put yourself in his
head for a second here.
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mary rosenblum
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He may lose his daughter once
he reveals the truth.
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mary rosenblum
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He doens't know this young man
all that well.
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mary rosenblum
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It's gonna be a tough choice
for him.
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mary rosenblum
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AND...if we think he won't
tell her, we'll worry. We'll be holding our breaths...knowing that she
won't have that happines.
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marly
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I think the father should tell
her. It would be the harder
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mary rosenblum
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Yep, agreed, marly!
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mary rosenblum
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It will be harder, and he can
be punished for that admission.
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wildcountryca
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she is shocked and betrayed, he
tries to comfort her and she becomes intensly upset for the betrayal
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mary rosenblum
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There you go. He did the right
thing, knowing he would lose, and he does.
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arfelin
|
Her dad kept this secret from
her because he loves his wife and doesn't want to loose her--even if the
woman is a loser--by telling the daughter he loses his wife, daughter's
mother.
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, that can be just what
goes through his head. Good job, folks!
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roe
|
so how long would he take before
he made the decision
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mary rosenblum
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Wouldn't take long. Let's
count words here:
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mary rosenblum
|
We have the discovery scene --
Dad walks in, sees the letter and ring, finds out what is happening.
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mary rosenblum
|
He comforts her and thinks
about the truth, can't tell her. Maybe leaves, goes for a breath of air.
Another 500 words. We're up to 1000 now.
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mary rosenblum
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Now we need our climax. Some
memory, glimpse, thought has to show him the right thing to do.
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mary rosenblum
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Suggestions?
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mary rosenblum
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What makes him do the right
thing?
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paja
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Maybe he remembers his own
father's lies after the man's death.
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mary rosenblum
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That might be a good reason
for him to decide not to tell her at first...he broke with his own dad over
a lie.
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jdoyon
|
a song playing?
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paja
|
He's got to see something while
walking
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mary rosenblum
|
Those are good 'trigger
events' to make him reach the right memory. Something makes him think
of....
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smilingsunflower
|
remembers how a lie told by
someone destroyed his own life
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speckledorf
|
He remembers the joy of holding
her when baby..
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shayon-joseph
|
What makes him do the right
thing is that he dealt with the exact same issue as a child
(parent-not-being-his-parent). He remembers his hurt and pain from not know
the truth and decides, its better to know and suffer the loss than not to
know and live the lie.
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, one of the above will do
nicely.
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mary rosenblum
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Either he has suffered from
another's lie or he simply realizes that he IS her father even if not
genetically...
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mary rosenblum
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and a father would never take
away her happiness.
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roe
|
maybe he remembers the vow his
best friends' vocie comes back to him, take care of my baby
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mary rosenblum
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That could work, too. Maybe
he's a single parent and there isn't even a Mom. This is a BIG lie.
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roe
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could have a sequel where they
made up eventally
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, we'll do that here, roe!
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mary rosenblum
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He has come to his decision,
has been triggered into that memory and now decision. He goes in to tell
her.
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mary rosenblum
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And for me, I would have her
be shocked and wounded. He is her life, her only parent (sorry, I just
wrote mom out of the story)...
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mary rosenblum
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and he has LIED to her. BUT
she can now marry her lover. She is upset, conflicted...
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mary rosenblum
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and Dad may lose. Let's not
make this too easy. But we need that 'sequel' right.
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mary rosenblum
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And we're rapidly running out
of words, now. I figure we've got about 200 left.
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mary rosenblum
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So how do we let the reader
know that eventually they will probably make up? We need a HINT from her
that she wont' hate him forever, but not an easy out.
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mary rosenblum
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Don't forget, she gets her
fiance, so we have that happy end.
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wildcountryca
|
she tells him to leave her
alone, she doesn't want to see him again,
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mary rosenblum
|
Yep. She sure does.
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mary rosenblum
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BUT ...we need her to let us
know she'll change her mind later.
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roe
|
I like that without mom, which
wold make more sense as to why she confided in him too and she woudl feel
very betrayed now
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mary rosenblum
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I agree.
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roe
|
now we can bring in the fiance
he might make her see what it cost her father to tellher
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mary rosenblum
|
Too many words, roe. We have
maybe 200 words left, max.
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mary rosenblum
|
We need a hint from her by
something she does or says.
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murth
|
She'll make him a grandfather
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mary rosenblum
|
Well, we could do that. We
could do a scene break and flash forward to a knock on the door.
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mary rosenblum
|
If he opens it to find her
there with an infant, that's all we need to see. We type [end] and send it
off. :-)
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seabeewife
|
how do you figure how many words
a story will take?
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mary rosenblum
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Seebee, I have written
hundreds of stories in my life. I can make a pretty accurate assessment of
how many words it would take me to write this. :-)
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mary rosenblum
|
Let's do that flash forward.
it's short, to the point, and we don't need to explain anything. The scene
says it all.
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mary rosenblum
|
There you have it, a complete
story in 2000 words, plot, conflict, resolution, begining, middle, end.
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mary rosenblum
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Nice job!
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mary rosenblum
|
And notice how much it changed
from our first idea to the final version?
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mary rosenblum
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This is how you craft stories.
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mary rosenblum
|
The idea doesn't always have
to come to you in one piece.
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mary rosenblum
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Start with an idea. Pull it
this way, that way, try something else.
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shayon-joseph
|
economy of words is a tough gig,
Mary.
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mary rosenblum
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The more you write, the better
you get.
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mary rosenblum
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You learn confidence, shayon,
that a few words really will make a story for the reader.
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wildcountryca
|
father slowly departs, she
starts remembering all their good times
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mary rosenblum
|
That's another end, wild...it
would leave more in question, but would still leave us guessing they won't
break forever.
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seabeewife
|
she lets him walk her down the aisle
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mary rosenblum
|
Another good end.
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mary rosenblum
|
That's also a flash forward.
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jdoyon
|
how do you do a scene break
effectively?
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mary rosenblum
|
jdoy...for our flash forward I
would simply skip a line and center a * on it...
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mary rosenblum
|
that indicates a change in
time/place.
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senicynt
|
Why in the world does she have
to hate dad for adopting her anyway? Why can't she be greatful that he
loved her enough to take care of her?
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mary rosenblum
|
He didn't adopt her, sen. He
created a false identity for her. And people have strong feelings about
truth/lies.
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mary rosenblum
|
I'm going to have to end this,
but you all did a great job here.
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mary rosenblum
|
We ended up with a good,
sound, 2000 word story.
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mary rosenblum
|
I think we'll do this again
from time to time.
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paja
|
Like a potter pulls the clay and
adds a bit here and there till it looks like what she wants. Awesome
lesson, Mary.
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mary rosenblum
|
Good analogy, paja.
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mary rosenblum
|
Thanks for coming all!
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mary rosenblum
|
Too many good suggestions to
post 'em all, but LOTS of good material to work with.
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janp
|
Now go ive your fingers a nice
warm bath. You really got peppered. :-)
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mary rosenblum
|
No kidding!
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mary rosenblum
|
Good night all!
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mary rosenblum
|
I'll post the transcript in
Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.
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|
mary rosenblum
|
Do drop into the casual chat
Sunday evening at the same time.
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mary rosenblum
|
That's a no topic, just
conversaton get together.
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mary rosenblum
|
See you all there!
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mary rosenblum
|
Good night, all!
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