Forum Transcripts

Narrative Distance...Placing the Reader in the Scene 5/3/05

Event start time:

Tue May 03 12:07:17 2005

Event end time:

Tue May 03 13:25:31 2005



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Questions from the Audience are presented in red.
Answers by the Speaker are in black.
The Moderator's comments are in blue.

mary rosenblum

Hello all! I hope you had a great weekend!

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about narrative distance. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

I thought I'd bring up the term 'narrative distance' today and talk about what it means... because some books on writing use it and don't really explain it well.

mary rosenblum

But before I get started, I think we should give our own speckledorf a hand.

mary rosenblum

She has taken the great 'leap off the cliff' and has actually become owner and editor of Wax Romantic, the online Romance 'zine.

mary rosenblum

And is working on turning it into a really hot, paying market!

mary rosenblum

So if you want a good, solid short romance market out there, go to the website and subscribe. :-)

mary rosenblum

Support your local fiction markets!

mary rosenblum

www.waxromantic.com

lucky

Who'd have suspected? A romantic troll.

mary rosenblum

I always thought trolls were romantics at heart. :-)

lucky

But don't they have hearts of stone??

mary rosenblum

Maybe gemstone...that's romantic. :-)

mary rosenblum

The problem with writing is that there is no standard dictionary of terms...

mary rosenblum

and so various writers, including moi, use words that another writing instructor may not use or may use differently...

mary rosenblum

so it is ALWAYS important to define your terms.

mary rosenblum

Narrative distance is simply the position of the reader in terms of the action.

mary rosenblum

If the reader IS the main character, the narrative distance is in effect zero.

mary rosenblum

The reader is living the story along with the MC...this is what Orson Scott Card calls 'deep penetration third person'...it is a very limited third person point of view.

mary rosenblum

As the reader is moved farther and farther from the action, to the point where the entire stage is visible and we readers are clearly sitting in the seats in the theater...

mary rosenblum

we move to omniscient POV and finally cinematic.

mary rosenblum

And of course, the farther from that 'ground zero' of the POV characater's head we get, the more aware we readers are that we are reading a story...

mary rosenblum

and not actually sharing the adventure with the MC.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about narrative distance. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

And various 'distances' are appropriate for various types of fiction.

mary rosenblum

And they are used less extensively in nonfiction...

mary rosenblum

either in anecdotes used to illustrate a point or in personal narrative or creative nonfiction.

mary rosenblum

They way you identify your own 'narrative distance' in a story is simple.

mary rosenblum

Read a scene. Now ask yourself where YOU need to be standing in order to see everything that scene describes.

mary rosenblum

That gives you your narrative distance.

mary rosenblum

If you must be sitting inside the POV's head in order to see the scene the way it is described, then the narrative distance is zero and you are using a very limited, deep POV, either first or third.

mary rosenblum

If you find that you are standing outside that character in order to see all the details described, then you have incrased the narrative distance, and the reader is no longer sharing headspace with the POV.

gwanny

Do you want to maintain the same distance throughout?

mary rosenblum

Depends, gwanny.

mary rosenblum

Are you writing short story or novel form? And what effect are you striving for?

mary rosenblum

Let's look at a short story, an intense, character driven piece where we are inside the POV's head...

mary rosenblum

as that person struggles with a very internal conflict and resolution.

mary rosenblum

There, if you step back outside the POV...increase the narrative distance...it will probably jolt the reader out of that intimate story.

mary rosenblum

But if you are writing a novel, using several POV characters in all, you may vary the narrative distance to suit each character.

mary rosenblum

When the MC is the POV, the narrative distance may be zero. A scene featuring a dominating, not very likeable POV may increase the narrative distance dramatically...

mary rosenblum

because the readers really don't want to be too deeply inside this guy's head.

geezer

How does narrative distance interplay with interior monologue

mary rosenblum

Interior monologue is either A: a character's thoughts in third person or B: a first person POV where the character seems to be thinking to himself/herself rather than speaking to a listener.

mary rosenblum

You can use internal mono in all forms of third person except cinematic...

mary rosenblum

with is simply a scene without any internal POV at all...it is seen through a camera eye, in other words.

mary rosenblum

In zero narrative distance...that very deep third person...all description is filtered through the POV character's awareness, so actual description and internal monologue almost blur together.

mary rosenblum

In omniscient POV...the opposite end of the spectrum, where the reader is pushed way out into the audience seats and watches the story on a stage...

mary rosenblum

we can perceive any character's internal monologue as the author chooses to reveal it to us.

mary rosenblum

In really well done zero narrative distance, it reads almost like a first person narrative. Except for the pronouns. :-)

mary rosenblum

Most of the time, we add just a bit of narrative distance so that even as we preserve that sense of being inside the POV character's head...

mary rosenblum

we can sneak in a few details that the character really wouldn't notice without obviously violating the POV.

geezer

Can you give an example of internal dialogue with third person?

mary rosenblum

I assume you mean monologue, geezer? Unless our POV character has a serious personality disorder?

geezer

Yep

mary rosenblum

Girard pushed the door open cautiously and peered into the shed. Serena couldn't be in here. She was scared to death of spiders. He eyed the thick,silvery webs festooning the ceiling. That left the well. He swallowed.

mary rosenblum

Now I rarely use long stretches of 'direct thought' because we don't think in dialogue form and it sounds phony. The above monologue is paraphrased rather than represented like a 'quote'.

mary rosenblum

But Girard thinks: Serena can't be in here. She's scared to death of spiders. The leaves the well.

mary rosenblum

I have interspersed it with his actions to keep the momentum going.

geezer

Is this wrong? He opened the door./ There it is! / He walked down the steps

mary rosenblum

That works fine. And we often think in coherent snatches like 'There it is'.

mary rosenblum

I wouldn't put in a long soliloquy though. I have to say, I have moved away from using much direct thought at all...

mary rosenblum

because many editors insist on italicizing thought and I don't LIKE italicized thought.

speckledorf

Is it standard practice to italicize thought? That is the one thing my instructor kept getting on to me about. And I see it a lot in the books I'm reading lately?

mary rosenblum

It depends on the house. You can do it either way, but every publishing house has its own 'style sheet' and you will get stuck with it in many houses.

mary rosenblum

If I know the editor won't insist on italic, I'll use direct thought. If they are stubborn about it, I won't use it at all, I'll just paraphrase.

t green

what if your MC is thinking about himself... using 3rd person... we still use the "I" and "me" pronouns, right? And what about when your character is alone, no one to talk to, on a long trek. How does one keep the 'thought' and the 'dialogue' separate?

mary rosenblum

Dialogue is by definition spoken out loud. Quotation marks tell the reader that this character is speaking out loud.

mary rosenblum

A lack of quotation marks and the clear indication that this is thought makes it thought.

mary rosenblum

You can either use ,he thought or you can make it clear from the context that the character is musing to himself.

mary rosenblum

If your story includes a lot of monologue, if your character spends a lot of time by herself, you might want to try it in first person...

mary rosenblum

even if you normally use third.

t green

i think what i'm asking... does it make a difference if the character is alone, whether you use dialogue or thought. or would you balance the two?

mary rosenblum

Yes it makes a BIG difference, t.

mary rosenblum

We DO NOT THINK IN DIALOGUE FORM.

mary rosenblum

If you have your mc thinking to herself in long, grammatically correct sentences...

mary rosenblum

it will either sound phony to your reader or your reader will begin to hear it as speech.

mary rosenblum

Better to make it speech in the first place...your MC just likes to talk to the trees!

t green

but when we're alone, we don't really TALK in dialogue form either...

mary rosenblum

We do talk much more in dialogue form than we think, t, and we'll accept a more recognizable dialogue form in speech as readers than we will a long internal monlogue.

mary rosenblum

And believe me... I eavesdrop on people talking to themselves all the time. :-) They're pretty coherent.

mary rosenblum

I usually know what they're talking about. LOL

mary rosenblum

(Us character writers are total Peeping Toms ...or Tomasinas)

t green

especially when trying to sort out thoughts or feelings

mary rosenblum

Oops, didn't get the end of your post, but even then...

mary rosenblum

your out loud dialogue will seem more realistic to your reader if your character is addressing the squirrels than if he/she is thinking it.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about narrative distance. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

lucky

When should you start worrying about these issues? I'm thinking this is mostly second or third draft stuff after you get the bones of the story in place.

mary rosenblum

Oh you bet, lucky.

mary rosenblum

Don't mess with this kind of editorial stuff consciously while you;'re writing the first draft.

mary rosenblum

Let your creative mind run and keep the editor in its box.

mary rosenblum

Worry about it on draft two. Or later.

mary rosenblum

Now the better you get at this sort of thing, the more you WILL work with it in draft one, but it won't get in the way of creating...you'll simply be aware of the craft issues.

mary rosenblum

But when you have to concentrate on a craft issue...when you ahve to think about it...DON"T...at least not in draft one.

mary rosenblum

All you should be thinking about then is your story and how it is unfolding.

mary rosenblum

I've actually been working on the 'revision section' of the new novel course this week...

mary rosenblum

and there, we've broken down revision into three stages...

mary rosenblum

a 'story' revision...where you really pay attention to your dramatic arc, characterization, and the like...the big picture...

mary rosenblum

a 'craft revision', where you look at things like this...narrative distance, POV, transitions, the strength of scenes and chapters, etc...

mary rosenblum

and a 'polishing revision' where you pick all the little nits...strong words, adjectives, adverbs, and so forth.

mary rosenblum

You have plenty of time to mess with your POV and narrative distance later...save draft one for creativity only!

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me, Mary Rosenblum, LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer and today we're talking about narrative distance. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

And there ARE reasons to vary your narrative distance, by the way.

mary rosenblum

Zero is not always the best and omniscient rarely is the best in terms of choice.

mary rosenblum

it really depends on your story and what you intend it to do.

mary rosenblum

Nearly everybody begins writing in omnicient POV...

mary rosenblum

you simply describe the action and when readers need to know wha ta character thinks, you simply tell the readers what that character is thinking...

mary rosenblum

You describe everything going on, even things that none of the characters could possibly know about.

mary rosenblum

This is just the novice author trying to squeeze everything into the story! We all start that way.

mary rosenblum

But the effect is to push the audience off of the stage and out into the theater seats...and why shouldn't that person go watch a movie or a play instead of reading this book?

mary rosenblum

What separates fiction from visual media is that at the moment, it is the only medium where the audience gets to participate.

mary rosenblum

You can't get up on stage and you can't step through the movie screen...at least not in most theaters! :-)

mary rosenblum

However, at times you DO want more narrative distance.

mary rosenblum

Especially in literary fiction, you often find that the reader is held at a significant distance from the characters...

mary rosenblum

and it IS more like watching a play. It is the interaction of characters...often characters the readers really don't entirely like...that powers the story...

mary rosenblum

rather than personal identification with a main character.

mary rosenblum

And in a 'come uppance story' , where the power of the story is that the unlikeable character gets his/her 'just deserts' at the end...the readers really want that distance.

mary rosenblum

Oooh, yuck, I don't want to know what's going on inside him!...

gwanny

hemmingway is like that, I can't get into his characters

mary rosenblum

Exactly. And it is not the personal identification with the characters that powers Hemingway's stories.

mary rosenblum

Steinbeck tends to put you into character POV more deeply, but he still backs out to give you larger pictures when needed in his novels.

mary rosenblum

His narrative distance varies quite a bit from chapter to chapter in his books.

mary rosenblum

And of course, you can be much more flexible with craft issues like narrative distance in novel form...

mary rosenblum

because you simply have a larger landscape to play in.

lucky

Gary's working on a story 12 to 15 thousand words, and one of the characters has jumped up to rival the MC and POV in importance. Is that long enough to support two MC's? Or is it better to stick with one? I want to add the girl, but he's being stubborn. --Lucky

mary rosenblum

Depends on whether it works, Lucky. :-) If the plot is pulling much of the 'weight' of the story, then dual POVs can work fine...

mary rosenblum

As I recall Alexis Glynn Latner, my friend and Analog writer, frequently uses more than one POV in her novelettes...

mary rosenblum

but she tends to be a plot driven writer and it works fine. Hers run about 10,000 words.

dutchboy77

Wouldn't using a small narrative distance help to escalate dramatic effect...more so if we deviate slightly for the sake of foreshadowing?

mary rosenblum

It does indeed, dutch...even in the movies, the camera tends to zoom in on the MC whenever something really dramatic is about to happen...

mary rosenblum

and when your reader is at zero distance...smack inside your MC...that reader is right there in the haunted house as the monster bursts out of the closet.

mary rosenblum

As to foreshadowing...speaking as a mystery writer who has to deal with a single POV and planting clues...

mary rosenblum

you don't really need to back out of a small narrative distance in order to foreshadow future events...

mary rosenblum

you simply have to make your POV plausibly overlook or misinterpret them. :-) (And in mystery, hopefully your readers, too!)

owlybear

It's like real life and we are trying to copy it. If we are watching an event we are really interested in, we try to move closer. If it's a ho hum event we,ll hang back a bit because it doesn't matter so much.

mary rosenblum

Exactly, owly! Bravo! THat is indeed the absolute bottom line: It's like real life and we are trying to copy it.

mary rosenblum

Think about the times you really were transported into another universe...

mary rosenblum

where you had an instant's blink of disorientation as you returned to the real world and the sofa you were sitting on.

mary rosenblum

We are a LONG way from being able to do that in any other media, but we can do it with ink on white paper...and THAT is why I"m a writer. :-)

mary rosenblum

Narrative distance is also a component of pace and tension.

mary rosenblum

If you think about the way you perceive events, when you are not under stress you multitask.

mary rosenblum

You might stroll along a street, think about your conversation with your mother yesterday, notice the azaleas in bloom, and sort your grocery coupons at the same time.

mary rosenblum

But when you're being chased by that big, nasty dog, all you are thinking about is...can I get over that fence at the end of the alley? And nothing else much matters.

mary rosenblum

You can replicate that a bit with narrative distance.

mary rosenblum

In a relaxed scene, you can slip in a few details in third person that your MC might not reaaallly notice and your readers will accept it.

mary rosenblum

That is increasing the narrative distance a bit, but not really pushing your reader too far back from the MC.

mary rosenblum

But when your character is involved in an intense scene, you can stuff that reader firmly back into the POV character's head...

mary rosenblum

and give that scene the intent focus that it requires...just like that character fleeing the dog and aware only of potential escape routes.

mary rosenblum

And by the way...

mary rosenblum

I KNOW I'm going to confuse people with MC (main character) and POV (point of view character)..

mary rosenblum

I have been using them almost interchangeably at times, and while they CAN and usually ARE the same thing, they can be different characters, too.

mary rosenblum

MC, main character, is the character without whom the story is not a story...

mary rosenblum

it is the character who has the most at stake, the one who has the most to gain or lose.

mary rosenblum

POV is simply the character through whose perceptions the story is portrayed.

mary rosenblum

In a novel, you can have more than one POV and more than one MC for that matter.

mary rosenblum

And usually, the POV character is the MC...

mary rosenblum

but occasionally they are distinct.

mary rosenblum

For example, Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird is the POV...she tells the story.

mary rosenblum

But she is not the main character.

mary rosenblum

Just to straighten out this pair of writing terms. :-)

margieh

I was just wondering about To Kill a Mockingbird! Why was Scout a good choice for POV and how do MC and POV and Narrative Distance work together?

mary rosenblum

Well, TK a M is a narrative story...Scout tells us what goes on as the trial plays out, with Jem as the focal point of the situation.

mary rosenblum

And here, the narrative distance is pretty large in terms of the main character...

mary rosenblum

As to why she chose to do it this way, I don't know. :-) But it allowed her to show the actions of the main characters and to add that 'naivete' of Scout's commentary...

mary rosenblum

to make the reader look at these events through the perceptions of a child rather than through their own perceptions, their own preconceptions...

mary rosenblum

Jem would have been less naive and Scout probably wouldn't have been able to be the central fulcrum the way Jem was.

mary rosenblum

End of literary analysis 101. :-)

mary rosenblum

But it's a nice illustration of choosing your characters on purpose rather than because they occured to you!

mary rosenblum

Remember the story never controls you. YOU control the story, even if it doesn't feel like it at first. :-)

mary rosenblum

Well, this has been another fun Oregon Hour...

mary rosenblum

Next time you write a story, pay attention to where you have to stand in order to see the scene and that will give you your narrative distance.

mary rosenblum

I'll post the transcript in the usual place...Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.

mary rosenblum

Have a good week all!

mary rosenblum

See you tomorrow for our casual chat, same time, same place!

mary rosenblum

Have a good week, all!

mary rosenblum

Bye!

 

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