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mary rosenblum
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Good morning all!
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mary rosenblum
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I hope you had a fine weekend.
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mary rosenblum
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Welcome to our Tuesday Forum.
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mary rosenblum
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I wanted to talk about
enabling the reader to see and hear at the same time, because I see an...
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mary rosenblum
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awful lot of dialogue and
internal monlogue from novice writers where the effect..
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mary rosenblum
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is that the readers have
closed their eyes to listen. :-) This is not the way things usually happen.
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mary rosenblum
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This is the Tuesday Forum with
me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We're
talking about showing action with dialogue. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a
question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won't reach
me! You can also type /ask in front of your question in your regular send
bar to reach me
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mary rosenblum
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Much of what 'strong prose' is
about is making sentences do more than one thing.
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mary rosenblum
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And when writing fiction, our
goal is to mimic the sensory reality...that is...
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mary rosenblum
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the reader is using all senses
at the same time. Not easy to pull of when you first start out.
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mary rosenblum
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But the effect is actually
pretty easy to achieve, since readers are good at extrapolating.
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mary rosenblum
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A few few glimpses of ongoing
action and/or scene will allow the reader to 'see' continuous action as the
characters talk or think.
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mary rosenblum
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And the effect is that we are
listening to the character, the character's monlogue (first person), or
overhearing that character's thoughts (third person) and seeing them move
about in the scene...
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mary rosenblum
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at the same time.
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mary rosenblum
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They way you achieve this is
that YOU visualize the action that takes place during, say, a
conversation...
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mary rosenblum
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and at the approprite time,
you show us what is going on. We readers will fill in the gaps between.
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mary rosenblum
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Let me give you an example.
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mary rosenblum
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Say Pearl and Johan are
talking and while they're talking they're filling bags with canned goods...
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mary rosenblum
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and other stuff at a food
bank.
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mary rosenblum
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During the conversation, you
might use an action tag that shows Johan opening a case of canned peas.
After another line or two, Pear adds two loaves of whole wheat bread to a
box, and later...
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mary rosenblum
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Johan might carry a full box
over to a growing stack of boxes ready for delivery.
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mary rosenblum
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Readers will fill in more
actions...opening more cases, putting those cans of peas and other items
into the boxes, they'll see...
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mary rosenblum
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the two characters lug the
boxes over to the stack.
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mary rosenblum
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And the effect is of seeing
the characters and hearing them at the same time...which is what happens in
real life.
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mary rosenblum
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Using action tags in your
dialogue makes it easy to insert action into a conversation.
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mary rosenblum
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A 'tag' line is simply the 'he
said', 'Pearl said', 'Johan replied' phrase that serves ONLY to identify
the speaker.
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mary rosenblum
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And of course, everybody has
been told by teachers or books on writing that you should not use 'said'
too often.
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mary rosenblum
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And most English teachers have
done writing the disservice of passing out long lists of 'other words' to
use instead of said.
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mary rosenblum
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Sigh.
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mary rosenblum
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They're worse than said.
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mary rosenblum
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Instead, use action tags and
you accomplish two things...
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mary rosenblum
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You show us who is speaking so
we hear the right voice, and...
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mary rosenblum
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you show us that speaker's
actions and/or body language. So that action tag can also let us hear the
appropriate tone...
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mary rosenblum
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and you can avoid using 'he
said quietly' or 'she said angrily'. These little action beats are very
very useful.
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mary rosenblum
|
This is the Tuesday Forum with
me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We're
talking about showing action with dialogue. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a
question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won't reach
me! You can also type /ask in front of your question in your regular send
bar to reach me
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mary rosenblum
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Here's our Johan and Pearl
example.
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geezer
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Can a tag and an action tag be
combined : he said and tossed the bread aside.
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mary rosenblum
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Sure, but why do you need the
'he said and'?
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mary rosenblum
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You're adding unnecessary
words. And that weakens your prose, since we have to wade through...
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mary rosenblum
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those useless syllables before
we get the entire picture.
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mary rosenblum
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He tossed the bread aside,
gives us the same information. And if it comes right after his line, we
KNOW he said it.
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mary rosenblum
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"I'm really
worried." He tossed the bread aside.
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mary rosenblum
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"Have you seen Sara
recently?" Johan lugged an unopened case of canned peas over to the
work table. "She was supposed to meet Jenny for lunch yesterday."
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mary rosenblum
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"Not since last
Thursday." Pearl tossed two loaves of rye bread into the box. "I
hope these people like rye. That's all we've got today."
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mary rosenblum
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"She never misses a lunch
date." Johan scowled as he sawed through the box top with the dull
knife.
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mary rosenblum
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"You're really worried
aren't you?"
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mary rosenblum
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"Yes." He didn't
look at Pearl.
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mary rosenblum
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"Johan, she's a grown
woman." Pearl planted her fists on her hips. "She doesn't have to
check in every day."
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christopherdale
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what about :"Help better
get here soon," Jim slammed his last magazine into the rifle.
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mary rosenblum
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That's a good example, chris.
And that 'slammed' is going to make most readers hear a tone of
determination and urgency.
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mary rosenblum
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Rather than a whine.
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christopherdale
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"Why? You got someone
better to go?" Sarge, tossing his now wempty rifle aside, pulled his
K-Bar out.
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mary rosenblum
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This is an action tag, but
it's a bit awkward.
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mary rosenblum
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Try this:
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mary rosenblum
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"WHy? You got someone
better to go?" Sarge tossed his empty rifle aside and pulled out a
K-bar.
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mary rosenblum
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Avoid verbs ending in ing
unless they are genuinely necessary.
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mary rosenblum
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When you show the character's
actions, you can also show that person's mood...
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mary rosenblum
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and thus help the reader hear
a tone of voice so that you don't have to TELL us what the tone is.
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gskearney
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That's the real trick here is it
not? Picking the right verb. --gk
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mary rosenblum
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Yep.
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mary rosenblum
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Of all the parts of speech, I
feel that the verbs are the most important in writing.
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mary rosenblum
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They add huge amounts of
information in many ways.
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mary rosenblum
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Give some thought to every
verb you use.
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mary rosenblum
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'Can I use a better verb
here'.
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mary rosenblum
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That will do a LOT for your
writing.
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mary rosenblum
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If you don't think about those
verbs, you'll tend to use bland, vanilla pudding', verbs.
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mary rosenblum
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Let's go back to Chris's first
example.
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mary rosenblum
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"Help better get here
soon." Jim put his last magazine into the rifle.
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mary rosenblum
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We're not going to hear the
same tone of voice as when he slammed that puppy in.
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mary rosenblum
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And here's a different tone
altogether.
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mary rosenblum
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"Help better get here
soon." Jim fumbled his last magazine into the rifle.
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mary rosenblum
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Now we're hearing fear in his
voice.
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mary rosenblum
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So now, your action beat is
not only giving the effect of hearing Jim speak as we see him load that
rifle...
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mary rosenblum
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it is also letting us guess at
his emotional state.
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mary rosenblum
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It is when you layer this
volume of information into a scene that it begins to seem real to a reader.
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mary rosenblum
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Without that layering, it is
going to seem flat and two dimensional.
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mary rosenblum
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Because if we really were
there, we would be absorbing all those layers of information.
|
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mary rosenblum
|
This is the Tuesday Forum with
me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We're
talking about showing action with dialogue. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a
question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won't reach
me! You can also type /ask in front of your question in your regular send
bar to reach me
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mary rosenblum
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But don't overuse actions.
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mary rosenblum
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Just as you do not need a
'said tag' after every single line of dialogue, neither should you use an
action tag...
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mary rosenblum
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after every single line of
dialogue.
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mary rosenblum
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You only NEED enough tags so
that the reader isn't confused.
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mary rosenblum
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If you have two people
talking, you will need fewer tags to keep the reader straight than if...
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mary rosenblum
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you have four friends chatting
at a bar after work.
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mary rosenblum
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And when the conversation gets
intense, you should use fewer tags of any sort than when the conversation
is more relaxed.
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mary rosenblum
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Those action tags, useful
though they are, do dilute tension...
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mary rosenblum
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so if the conversation is
rising to a dramatic peak, say an arguement, you'll need to reduce the
frequency of the action tags...
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mary rosenblum
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as the conversation reaches
the climax.
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mary rosenblum
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Probably the biggest weakness
I see, craftwise, in novice manuscripts is this lack of layering, lack of
depth, in scenes.
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beryl
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Too much action seems like the
unpleasant experience of trying to converse with a person that can't sit
still...making concentraton difficult.
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mary rosenblum
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Absolutely, and that's why you
have to find the balance that works for this character in this scene.
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mary rosenblum
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If you have a fidgety
character or someone who is nervous, under pressure, that person may sort
of flit about or do nervous actions...
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mary rosenblum
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and you can use a lot of
action tags to create this effect.
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mary rosenblum
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While a quiet introvert may
tend to be quiet and self effacing and we'll see much less action from that
person.
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mary rosenblum
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It's not a matter of 'either
or'.
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mary rosenblum
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Much of craft is learning just
what the 'right amount' or 'right intensity' is in each scene.
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gskearney
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But what if it's the action
that's driving the story rather than dialogue at this point? --gk
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mary rosenblum
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Well, then it's action, gsk.
If your character is running from a predator you are not going to have
dialogue, it's all action...
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mary rosenblum
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and your 'hearing' is going to
come from inclusion of sounds in the chase.
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mary rosenblum
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He crashed through the
sunscorched brush, gasping for breath as he scrambled up the sandy slope.
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mary rosenblum
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Readers are going to hear the
sound of twigs smashing, his panting breath, and maybe the scuff of his
feet in the sand.
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tolkienlvr
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Mary - any thoughts on how much
dialogue (%) is too much dialogue in a given scene? In addition to action
tags what are some ways to keep the dialogue sections from sounding TOO
choppy - particularly in scenes of high emotional crisis?
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mary rosenblum
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Alas, writing is not something
where you can use a recipe. Any book on writing that starts...
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mary rosenblum
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telling you what percentage of
this or that you should include, should be consigned instantly to the round
file!
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mary rosenblum
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Writing is not about formula.
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mary rosenblum
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Reader feedback will tell you
when you guess right...
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mary rosenblum
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and wrong!
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mary rosenblum
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And the more guesses you make,
right and wrong, the better you'll be at making them...
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mary rosenblum
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until they're barely guesses
at all anymore.
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mary rosenblum
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Did I mention that the more
you write the better you get? :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Think about events in your
life where people were under stress...it was a crisis.
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mary rosenblum
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(And do NOT use TV or the
movies as an example for this! Reality is not held in high regard there!
LOL)
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mary rosenblum
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Generally, you don't talk a
lot when you're in a crisis moment...
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mary rosenblum
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and you may not be all that
coherent.
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mary rosenblum
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Depending on how you're
handling the crisis.
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mary rosenblum
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Dramatic scenes that involve
action are generally nearly or completely action at the dramatic
climax...that's just a rule of thumb, NOT a recipe!
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mary rosenblum
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In a conversation that rises
to a peak...a shouting match, perhaps...usually the dramatic peak involves
few or no tags.
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mary rosenblum
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None if the reader can follow
it.
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mary rosenblum
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This is the Tuesday Forum with
me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We're
talking about showing action with dialogue. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a
question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won't reach
me! You can also type /ask in front of your question in your regular send
bar to reach me
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mary rosenblum
|
Think about real life.
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mary rosenblum
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If you are walking through a
forest and you're on vacation, not a care in the world...
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mary rosenblum
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you notice the scenery a lot.
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mary rosenblum
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If you're being chased by a
huge dog that seems to be attacking, you are NOT noticing the scenery...
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mary rosenblum
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you are looking for a tree you
can scramble into and fast.
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roxie
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So action tags and verbs create
layering? Anything else?
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mary rosenblum
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Your descriptives, roxie.
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mary rosenblum
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Choosing words that carry a
particular nuance can increase the sense of mood.
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mary rosenblum
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Hi, Tarsus.
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mary rosenblum
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I just caught your comment
that wouldn't post.
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mary rosenblum
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Tarsus asked if it mattered
whether the tags came before or after the line of dialogue.
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mary rosenblum
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Thanks for bringing that
up..it certainly does!
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mary rosenblum
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Remember that all but first
time readers are pretty well trained in 'how to read'...and we know that
tag lines...
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mary rosenblum
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are there to identify the
speaker and often that's all they do.
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mary rosenblum
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So as soon as we absorb that
label, we dismiss them.
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mary rosenblum
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If you're just using a 'he
said' tag and it comes after the spoken line...
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mary rosenblum
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we aknowlege the ID of the
speaker and don't even consciously register that 'he said'...unless you are
using too many tags and they are beginning to annoy us!
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mary rosenblum
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But when they come first, they
stand up and wave at us.
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mary rosenblum
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We really notice them and it
makes the story seem very told, since you the author are inserting yourself
to say 'he is about to speak'.
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mary rosenblum
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He said, "I really don't
know if I want to go through with this."
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mary rosenblum
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"I really don't know if I
want to go through with this," he said.
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mary rosenblum
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Those two sentences have a
very different effect.
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mary rosenblum
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And by the way...I am NOT
saying that you should never use 'she said' ever again!
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mary rosenblum
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Sometimes 'he said' or 'Randy
said' or something like that is simply the best choice.
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mary rosenblum
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As the tension of the scene
increases, you're going to use less action and you still need to ID the
speaker, so 'said' is just fine.
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janecj333
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Using 'active' and visual verbs
like fumbled, slammed, etc. can be wearying to the reader, don't you think?
Sometimes a collection of common verbs can evoke just as much emotion by
their plainness. Ex. One of the soldiers, Thule Whiteman, lifted a cloth that
covered the two corpses. "Jesus," Dan said. He turned to stare at
the children and a truck that drove past, showering them with dust.
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mary rosenblum
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Anything overused is going to
weary the reader. As I said, it's a matter of learning how to use just
enough...sort of like salt in cooking. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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And here, why do we need said.
He?
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mary rosenblum
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"Jesus." Dan turned
to stare at the children....
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mary rosenblum
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Again, every extra word you
can eliminate is going to make your scene more vivid and real.
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roxie
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What about action tags in the
middle of the sentence for a pause effect? "Come," Barnaby said.
"We should be going."
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mary rosenblum
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Yes, that's a good way to slow
down the tempo of the scene.
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mary rosenblum
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If you want the reader to feel
the weight of the moment, if your characters are depressed, something bad
has just happened and it has impacted them...
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mary rosenblum
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you can make the scene feel
dark, slow, heavy by doing just that sort of thing...
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mary rosenblum
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to really slow down the pace.
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geezer
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Do you put the action tags in
the order that the action occurs. Or, is leading with an action tag a
no-no?
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mary rosenblum
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You can put it in front. It's
a bit harder to make the dialogue flow smoothly that way, but sometimes
it's the best choice.
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mary rosenblum
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Jane yanked the saddle off
it's stand. "Let's just get going." She tossed it onto the bay's
back.
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mary rosenblum
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Sometimes your dialogue is
going to be embedded in a lot of action. It just depends on the nature of
the scene.
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roxie
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Do you add layering as you
write, in the editing, or both?
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mary rosenblum
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Worry about it in the editing
process roxie.
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mary rosenblum
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I do a lot of it in first
draft, but then I do it without giving it a whole lot of conscious thought
at this point...
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mary rosenblum
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so it doesn't wake up the
editor while I'm creating. :-) I concentrate on fine tuning it during
revision.
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janecj333
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Using the 'Dan said' tag helps
readers understand that it's not Thule speaking. Right?
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mary rosenblum
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Not at all, Jane.
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mary rosenblum
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If it was NOT Dan speaking, it
would be a problem.
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mary rosenblum
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Every time a reader sees a
character act right after a spoken line of dialogue, nearly every one of
those readers...
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mary rosenblum
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will assume that person said
the previous line.
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mary rosenblum
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So you need to be very careful
of 'inadvertant' action tags.
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mary rosenblum
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Let's look at your example
again Jane.
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mary rosenblum
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Thule Whiteman lifted a cloth
that covered the two corpses. "Jesus." Dan turned to stare at the
children...
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mary rosenblum
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Readers will one and all hear
Dan say 'Jesus'.
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mary rosenblum
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BUt what if Thule said it? Uh
oh.
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mary rosenblum
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YOu'd have to do this.
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mary rosenblum
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"Thule Whiteman lifted a
cloth that covered the two corpses. "Jesus," he said. Dan turned
to stare at the children.
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mary rosenblum
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Now we know it's Thule
talking.
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mary rosenblum
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The antecedent to that 'he' is
Thule.
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mary rosenblum
|
This is the Tuesday Forum with
me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We're
talking about showing action with dialogue. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a
question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won't reach
me! You can also type /ask in front of your question in your regular send
bar to reach me
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dwkav
|
This is a bit off-topic, but I'm
confused about using questions marks in dialog. When a tag needs to follow
a character's question, do you use a ?, or just a comma.
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mary rosenblum
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Not really off topic at all,
dwk.
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mary rosenblum
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Use the question mark so that
readers hear it in a rising inflection.
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mary rosenblum
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"Did you really say
that?" Sally rolled her eyes.
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roxie
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Also a bit off-topic, but do you
post the chat transcripts anywhere?
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mary rosenblum
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Off topic is perfectly fine.
:-) Any question is totally appropriate no matter what the topic is.
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mary rosenblum
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And yes I do.
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mary rosenblum
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They're all posted in Writing
Craft: Forum Transcripts on the LR website.
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dwkav
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So the tag becomes an
independent sentence?
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mary rosenblum
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In that case, I used an action
tag and it is a complete sentence, but even with a 'she said', you still do
it that way.
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mary rosenblum
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"Did you really say
that?" she asked.
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mary rosenblum
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And some word processors
insist on automatically capitalizing the first letter after a ?, since it
recognizes that as a full stop like...
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mary rosenblum
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a period and usually will have
an 'autocorrect' feature.
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mary rosenblum
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If yours does that, just
backspace and delete the cap and replace it with that lower case s.
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janecj333
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I'd feel better about leaving
out the tag if Dan had been speaking earlier in the paragraph. I worry that
it's easy to assume the reader is following.
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mary rosenblum
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You need to assume it Jane.
When you spoon feed readers you insult their intelligence and bore the heck
out of them.
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mary rosenblum
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The more you allow readers to
make assumptions, the more they internalize that scene and make it
theirs..the more impact it has.
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mary rosenblum
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Where reader feedback is
invaluable is teaching you just how far you can 'leap' with those
assumptions before you fall flat on your face. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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Again...it's a fine line. But
you'll find it costs you to make sure that no single reader is ever going
to make a wrong assumption. Your prose just won't grip readers for the most
part.
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roxie
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It is important to match verb
choice to both character and theme, right?
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mary rosenblum
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It certainly is, roxie. I
don't know if you were here for Chris's early example of an action tag.
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mary rosenblum
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But by changing the verb in
that example, I changed the tone of the exchange.
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janecj333
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So many rules, so little brain
space. :)
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mary rosenblum
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Oh, no kidding.
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mary rosenblum
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And that's why the more you
write, the better you get. :-) You don't learn these techniques and then
apply them all, equally well.
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mary rosenblum
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You write and suddenly
something works. You write and write and suddenly something else suddenly
clicks.
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mary rosenblum
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It's an ongoing process of
'aha' moments as you begin to put into practice things...
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mary rosenblum
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that you really couldn't do
before. I remember many of those wonderful 'aha'...
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mary rosenblum
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moments when suddenly I GOT
show, don't tell, I GOT that character driven plot, I GOT that action tag
thing...
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mary rosenblum
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I learned them one by one as I
wrote and wrote and tried to make what I wrote do what powerful writers
were doing.
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mary rosenblum
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I'm just doing my best to
shortcut the process by showing you HOW I do some of the things I go...
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mary rosenblum
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but you'll have to internalize
that for yourself by doing it. I'm still learning new 'aha' moments. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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They're more advance, more
subtle techniques at this stage, but when I stop learning, I'll stop
writing, thank you. Because then I won't get any better.
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geezer
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What's your latest
"aha"?
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mary rosenblum
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Complex novel plot form.m
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beryl
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This is what makes writing so
satisfying and exciting, I'll always be growing.
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mary rosenblum
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Yep, exactly. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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This is the Tuesday Forum with
me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We're
talking about showing action with dialogue. If you're new here, remember
that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next
to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a
question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won't reach
me! You can also type /ask in front of your question in your regular send
bar to reach me
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mary rosenblum
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Again, realize that everything
in writing is a balance and absolutes don't exist.
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mary rosenblum
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(Roundfile those writing books
that tell you ALWAYS or NEVER too often).
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mary rosenblum
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Sometimes 'was' is the best
verb choice. She was cold might be the best way to express that
information...
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mary rosenblum
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in the context of that
particular scene, to be verb et al.
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mary rosenblum
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He said or she said is
sometimes the best tag you can use.
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mary rosenblum
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It's a matter of doing what
the scene requires.
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mary rosenblum
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But what you do NOT want to do
is to use verbs like 'was' or traditional tag lines...
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mary rosenblum
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simply from habit.
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mary rosenblum
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Use them consciously when they
are the right choice, but don't just DO them.
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mary rosenblum
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And worry about all this stuff
in your revisions.
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mary rosenblum
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When you are writing the first
draft, just sit down and let the story unfold.
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mary rosenblum
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Use lousy grammar, vanilla
verbs, no description, don't worry about pace, don't worry about
anything...
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mary rosenblum
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except getting that story
down.
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mary rosenblum
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Worry about the details
afterward.
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mary rosenblum
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Your creative mind and your
editor mind are different and they don't coesixt well.
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mary rosenblum
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You'll probably find that you
get better at 'switching' with more practice.
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mary rosenblum
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At this point I can pause in
the middle of a scene or a chapter and edit for a paragraph or two, then go
back into creative mode and get back to first-draft mode...
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mary rosenblum
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but I'd been writing for quite
some time before that became comfortable.
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mary rosenblum
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If you try to keep all these
craft details...action beats, verbs, etc...in your head while you're
struggling to write that first draft, you can go nuts!
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mary rosenblum
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It's really hard to see, as a
novice writer, why your strong story idea didn't sell, when others did.
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mary rosenblum
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But a lot of what divides
'sale' from 'non sale' has to do with the level of craft.
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mary rosenblum
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Those craft issues have a very
large cumulative effect on the reader.
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tory
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If you covered this, Mary, I'll
get it in the transcript, but--any tips oncrafting say fight scenes that
take longer to write than to happen? One suggestion I heard is to write it
in one long sentence--even if it's 2 pages long, to keep the tension up.
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mary rosenblum
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It is hard, Tory. But one long
sentence is pretty hard on readers.
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mary rosenblum
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You just want to create the
effect of one breath. :-)
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mary rosenblum
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I spend a lot of time on fight
scenes.
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mary rosenblum
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Run the scene through your
mind's eye. What are the fewest action high points that will carry the
reader through the scene?
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mary rosenblum
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Clearly if you describe every
blow, parry, fall, stumble...it will take you forever and the ...
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mary rosenblum
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scene should rush past at the
speed of the fight.
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mary rosenblum
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Generally, I choose a very few
vivid details of the action to 'suggest' the entire fight...
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mary rosenblum
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and let the reader fill in the
rest.
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mary rosenblum
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That way the scene is actually
quite short and if you use vivid details and language, the pace is very
intense.
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dwkav
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How do you write a fight scene,
a physical fight scene, if you've never been in one before?
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mary rosenblum
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Act it out, dwk.
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mary rosenblum
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Elizabeth Moon has been known
to gather all the local kids, give them pole spears and stage a fight scene
to get her choreography right.
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mary rosenblum
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I gather she is a very popular
neighbor!
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mary rosenblum
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Grab a piece of lathe and act
out that sword stroke.
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mary rosenblum
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See if you can do what your
character is supposed to do.
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mary rosenblum
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I routinely walk through a
fight where characters grapple to make sure...
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mary rosenblum
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all limbs can actually do what
I'm describing. :-)
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janecj333
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How do you decide when a fight
scene should be on-stage or off? A book full of people sticking each other
with swords can get old.
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mary rosenblum
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Oh it gets REAL old.
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mary rosenblum
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It's like those slash horror
stories where you're up to your knees in blood the whole way. Yawn.
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mary rosenblum
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One slash and a few drops of
blood can have WAY more impact.
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mary rosenblum
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That's a matter of feel. Too
much is too much. Less is usually better in the world of violence.
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janecj333
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Geez. Giving other peoples' kids
sticks and telling them to be dramatic seems ok... until someone gets an
eye poked out.
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mary rosenblum
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Oh I'm sure a liability lawyer
would have fits. But so far Elizabeth hasn't managed to get anyone hurt.
She must be a good field marshall...
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mary rosenblum
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and she sure writes good fight
scenes. (She is a rather skillful fencer, too).
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geezer
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Any pointers for pacing in
something that si supposed to be humorous?
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mary rosenblum
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Humor enforces its own pacing,
geeze, just as the delivery of a joke can succeed or fail
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telcontar
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from what I've heard about her,
I'm sure she's an excellent field marshall
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mary rosenblum
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She is. :-) And mind yourself
if you ever fence with her! She's good.
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dwkav
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I have a 13er who loves swords.
He "pratices" in the backyard all the time, but he's not aware of
the reality of swordfighting and the effects on the human body. Neither do
I. Are there ways to research that aspect without actually going out and
clobbering someone?
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mary rosenblum
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Not really. :-) I have a
friend who is a black belt in Judo and very skilled with the katana.
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mary rosenblum
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We tried out the katana on a
carcass once...I was highly skeptical of descriptions of swords lopping off
limbs or splitting people. Nope. They sure can do that.
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mary rosenblum
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But that was because I could
not find any reliable resource about the reality of sword injuries.
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mary rosenblum
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Believe me, if someone comes
after you with a sword, run!
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mary rosenblum
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(Life as a writer can include
some VERY weird behaviors)
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mary rosenblum
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But seriously, walk through
your fight scenes.
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mary rosenblum
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I really do act them out to
make sure that characters who fall or get thrown really land the way I
describe.
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mary rosenblum
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Readers can be very quick to
realize they're wrong if they are wrong.
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speckledorf
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Same thing goes for romance
scenes...when you have a hand here, a hand there and another hand doing
this...it really gets funny.:--)
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mary rosenblum
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No kidding. LOL.
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mary rosenblum
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Well, this has been a fun
Oregon hour.
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beryl
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All this just in time to (again)
re-write, edit, my assignment BEFORE mailing it. Won't Cynthia think I'm
just too brilliant? Thanks.
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mary rosenblum
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LOL Beryl!
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mary rosenblum
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Have fun.
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mary rosenblum
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I'll post the transcripts in
the usual place...Writing Craft: Forum Transcripts.
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