|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Hello all!
|
|
|
I'm glad to see you all here
tonight. Welcome to our Professional Connection interview with Valerie
Harms.
|
|
|
We're going to talk about
all things memoir tonight.
|
|
|
Valerie's bio, posted on her
website, is wonderful: A feminist, my first book was Unmasking: Ten
Women in Metamorphosis (1973). My religion became depth psychology. A
passion for Anais Nin led to joint projects, two more books and the
founding of Magic Circle Press. When Elvis Presley died, I resurrected my
memorabilia of encounters with him and published the story of his life. (Atheneum,
1979). Authored 2 children's books. For 20 years I've been an Intensive
Journal consultant and C.G. Jung scholar. Working with the National Audubon
Society on global environmental problems, I came to see how humans are
inextricably woven into the web of nature and how essential it is to heal
this relationship. I began life in Chicago, lived many years in Weston, CT,
now live in Bozeman, MT, globe-trotting whenever possible.
|
|
|
Valerlie, that is a great
bio on your website! Welcome to the website!
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Thanks a lot, and hello
everyone.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
So, Valerie, how did you get
started writing in the first place? Where did you begin?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Like many others, I started
writing stories as a girl...I once had my grandmother mail a story to Seventeen
but she never told me what happened to it.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
So where did you first
publish?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
My first book was based on
my consciousness-raising group of women in the arts in the early 70'sThey
|
|
|
gave me lots of
support. Like many writers I've wanted to tell about my life or at
least episodes. I should add these women took a look at Literary
Marketplace and picked a name they liked and we sent my book there, and it
was accepted.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Oh, very cool first sale
story. Ah, so now we come to a question that has always puzzled me a
bit ( I don't write memoir, obviously). What is the difference between
memoir and a personal narrative or autobiography?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Memoir is basically taking
a slice of your life to write about.
|
|
|
Personal narrative can be
found in fiction or autobiography.
|
|
|
Autobiography is telling
more the whole of a life by oneself...Biography is when someone else writes
about a life.
|
|
kolanda
|
What about writing about a
family member's life?
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
So that would be biography
essentially?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
I'd say that would be
autobiography or biography.
|
|
|
For instance, David Eggers
has just written "the autobiography" of a Sierra Leone man.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Ah, I see.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
I think writing family
history is another important use of personal material.
|
|
|
The lines between genres
get blurred...They're not arbitrary.
|
|
|
I should add that family
history or one's own material can be written as memoir, fiction, or
autobiography, or narrative non-fiction.
|
|
xana
|
It seems to me that writing a
memoir is more difficult than writing fiction partly because most of one's
own life which, of course, is interesting to oneself, isn't all that
interesting to others
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
And there's the issue isn't
it? How do you make it interesting to others?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Xana, and others, this is
an important craft issue. It's like home movies.
|
|
|
They can be dull to
everyone except the subjects. You have to use techniques of
characterization, setting, plot, and so forth.
|
|
|
I'd like to add
something....Would you ever think dishwashing would be interesting?
|
|
|
Someone is coming out with
a memoir about dishwashing in every state of the U.S.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
I heard several interviews
with him as he wrote the pieces. They're very entertaining.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
A number of people are
writing blogs, which is another form of memoir.
|
|
|
One woman did all the
recipes in Julia Child's cookbook and her memoir was published.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
So it's not WHAT you're
writing about, but rather how entertaining you make it?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
That's true...That's where
selection of detail and event and theme and good characterization become
important.
|
|
reece
|
Like stand up comedy you take
the every day things and show them in a new light?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Yes... Shall we look at
some current memoirs that are good sellers.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
I think that would be a very
good idea.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
You all probably know Joan Didion's
A Year of Magical Thinking...well, that is based on her husband's death.
This is a common experience for a number of people.
|
|
|
Another extremely popular
one is Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love.
|
|
|
In this book, she is
divorced, smitten with a new man who turns out to be wrong.
|
|
|
She goes to 3 different
countries with different solutions and ends up telling how she recovered.
|
|
|
Ann Patchett, who wrote
Truth and Beauty, describes a friendship.
|
|
|
The quality comes from good
writing skills.
|
|
|
I'm trying to get across
the idea that you don't have to be famous or climb high mountains in order
to have an interesting subject.
|
|
charie'
|
Could "Tuesdays with Morrie"
be considered personal narrative?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Yes, and memoir too.
|
|
flywriter
|
How about Jeannette Walls
with The Glass Castle?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Yes, that was a very
unusual experience she had.
|
|
reece
|
Is the Diary of Anne Frank
considered a memoir or autobiography?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
|
|
|
Diaries are more recorded
history on a daily basis...I think of the diaries of Anais Nin too…. Travel
makes for good memoirs...I think of John Steinbeck, who wrote "Travels
with Charley (his dog)"....
|
|
johnw
|
How would you classify Beryl
Markham's "West With The Night?"
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
A memoir of a certain
event.
|
|
kolanda
|
I am writing about my
family's history but because I can only gather so many actual facts can I
use fiction and will that still make it a memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
No, you would call that a
fictional memoir. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt is a popular
memoir...It brings up the issue of dialogue....And this relates to your
question about fiction.
|
|
|
|
|
johnw
|
Is that where James Frey went
over the line? In order to make things more interesting, he made things up?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Yes. He added untrue
events too.
|
|
|
Many memorists admit to
making up dialogue, recalling things to the best of their ability...
|
|
|
which is not always
reliable. Hence, Stephen Colbert made up the term "truthiness."
It's better
|
|
|
to say something is
fictional than to pretend otherwise.
|
|
kbr
|
So if I choose to write about
my spirituality, is that considered a memoir as opposed to an autobiography
or narrative?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
|
|
|
There are lots of examples
of spiritual memoirs....They're your personal account of a certain time
period and events. On the question about writing about another,
remember Gertrude Stein famously wrote "the autobiography of Alice B. Toklas."…
Many writers plainly write fiction based on their actual experience, e.g.
Erica Jong and Pam Houston.
|
|
flywriter
|
What do you think the public
enjoys most? Fiction or memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
People have a desire to
know people's "real" experiences and respond to memoirs.
|
|
|
However, fiction tends to
have more drama, something you can escape into.
|
|
|
Probably a lot more fiction
is published, because there are many, many genres of it.
|
|
kolanda
|
I read somewhere memoirs are
one of the more popular genres now. Is that true?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
I don't think so in terms
of the numbers published.
|
|
|
But a lot of the memoir
energy is siphoned into blogs and Youtube these days.
|
|
johnw
|
Which begs the question: why
not write first, classify later?
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Decide if it's autobiography
or memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
No, you should decide
because it will make a difference in structure but you can decide on
structure after your first draft.
|
|
|
You can experiment with
approaches...A writer once said that a tight structure will make you more
creative.
|
|
|
I have the feeling that if
you just launch into your whole life it will feel like free verse and not
have enough focus.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
So what does that novice
writer need to consider in terms of structure?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
They have to think what is
their true subject and leave everything else out...For instance, the
dishwasher isn't going to get into relationships or family or spirituality
most likely.
|
|
|
On the other hand, if you
have a grandfather who led an extraordinary life, then you would stick to
his life. Remember, memoir has more of a time limit than autobiography.
|
|
elizabethcarol
|
How do you decide what goes
in what chapter?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Regarding chapters, this is
part of the craft issue, you have to outline your manuscript and take a
crack at it, revising later.
|
|
kolanda
|
So, if you have the main
character, build around him/her and bring everyone else on board around
that person?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
A memoir will have you as
the central character and others in relation to you. An autobiography
will have another person as the central figure.
|
|
sss1208
|
Where's the market for
memoirs and autobiography?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Markets...many publishers
have some on their lists...I suggest you
|
|
|
check book shelves in
stores and the library to see who has published them.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Just like with other forms
of writing, find memoirs that are similar to yours and try to send to those
publishers first, even contacting those editors if possible.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Just a note...you're
probably better checking the bookstore shelves rather than the library,
since those books might have been published some years ago, and publishing
houses change their focus regularly these days.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Would you like to talk
about writing about living people or relatives?
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Let me give you
|
|
|
this question first,
Valerie, since it pertains to that.
|
|
xana
|
What makes fictional
characters interesting could result in a lawsuit when writing about real
people. How does one handle this?
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
What about the legal aspects
of this real-life writing?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
You are right, xana, you
call everything "fiction." In terms of real life writing
|
|
|
you are free to write
anything you want about anyone unless it is libelous.
|
|
|
Libel means calling them a
thief, criminal or sexual pervert...Otherwise, most writers strongly.
|
|
|
defend their freedom...That
said, many writers give family members consideration.
|
|
|
Annie Dillard in her book
on memoir writing (it's good) thinks she owes it to her family to show them
anything she plans to publish.
|
|
|
Mary Karr has written a
popular but mean memoir about her parents, after which she became closer to
her mother (her father died).
|
|
|
So you never can predict
what reactions will be...I happen to have a daughter
|
|
|
who is a writer too, and
she has used me in her fiction from time to time.
|
|
|
Once in a story she
described the time her father and I were having a tense time, and I strongly
objected to her interpretation...
|
|
|
We had a fierce argument
but she stuck to her independent sense of self.
|
|
|
I basically had to accept
it too, and I did come to respect that viewpoint, even if I didn't like
what she'd done.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Yes, let us please address
the personal ethics issue of exposing events to public scrutiny that some
family members will find very painful! What about that? What is your
obligation as memoirist? Do you have an opinion?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Yes, as I say, it's up to
you. Do you want to make your family uncomfortable or do you want to
pursue your goal? There are various opinions about it. You are free
to do whatever you want without libeling someone.
|
|
johnw
|
The psychiatrist's family
sued Augusten Burroughs ("Running With Scissors") over his
depiction of their family.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Annie Dillard considers her
family, but Mary Karr didn't and in the end grew closer to her
mother. The psychiatrist may sue but not likely get anywhere...People
can be upset but then they can write their own book.
|
|
lorib
|
Do you seek permission to use
"others" in a memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
No.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
The only rule as far as I
know is 'don't libel' (or you will get sued)
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
It is assumed you are
writing from your point of view. We all have different viewpoints,
even of the same situation.
|
|
coolbohemian
|
What is the average length of
the memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
They can vary; I don't know
of any average length.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Short memoir is very popular
in the nonfiction magazine market.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Another word about family
when writing memoirs, it's important not to let them hold you back
mentally.
|
|
|
You can be paralyzed from
writing your truth...I suggest you
|
|
|
go ahead and write drafts
and then edit later. Don't let fear deter you.
|
|
|
Another point to make is
what is your motive? Revenge will become clear and that is not going
to win an audience.
|
|
|
The main point is to focus
on the theme or events that prompted the memoir anyway. Don't write out of
revenge as that motive won't win an audience.
|
|
flywriter
|
What % of a dark experience
in life should fill a book? Like the movie Pursuit of Happiness I felt was
draining with little relief in the end. How should a book be?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
A lot of times memoirs are
of tough experiences that people normally don't have time for in
conversations, flywriter, and so darkness might be part of it. You
don't have to read dark subjects, e.g. like sexual abuse memoirs.
|
|
charie'
|
Is short memoir more like a
single anecdote like a comedian would do?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Very short memoir for a
magazine, as Mary mentioned before, would be like a polished anecdote.
|
|
writeaway
|
When writing a memoir do you
use people's real names?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
You know, a wonderful
humorous memoirist is David Sedaris, and he writes about his family all the
time. Memoirs require people's real names, unless you say at the
outset that you are changing them.
|
|
charie'
|
If someone in your family
was/is a crook, murderer, etc. and you write the memoir, is it still libel?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
If someone has been
convicted as a crook, then it's not libel.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
'Been convicted as...' That
is the key.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Right...But notice how
sexual abuse is not libelous.
|
|
|
Many memoirs these days are
from reporters in war zones
|
|
|
and even Cindy Sheehan, the
war protester, writes her "memoirs" on a blog.
|
|
|
All these books by say
George Tenant and others are giving their points of view of particular
political events - their memoirs.
|
|
sailor
|
I'm writing a novel based on
my grandparents' lives. There's a lot I don't know and have to make up, so
to me it qualifies as fiction. A writer friend told me to be careful that
it's not a memoir. Because I have to make up a lot and because it all
happened long before I was born, I don't think it's a memoir. Am I in
danger of it being a memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
No, you are right that it
is fiction very clearly. As the writer Jim Harrison
|
|
|
has said every writer uses
their own lives in their stories; that's what you build with.
|
|
|
You are writing fiction and
full speed ahead...I hate to hear of anyone being held up.
|
|
sss1208
|
I want to write about a brand
name game board, do I need to get permission to use their name?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
No, those are in the public
domain; they like it because it's advertising.
|
|
|
It's amazing but you'll
find many people have had memoirs of their dogs published.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Oooh, I’m sorry, Valerie, I
think you’re wrong about the brand names.
|
|
|
Some owners, such as the
Disney Corporation and occasionally McDonalds are VERY legally active about
protecting their brand names.
|
|
writeaway
|
I came in a little late so if
this question was asked, I apologize. Since people don't tape record
conversations; is a memoir narrative?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
The conversation question
is a good one to emphasize. Reporters, for instance, will say
anything they don't have on tape makes their work fiction.
|
|
|
On the other hand, most
memoirists "make up" dialogue because they don't have it verbatim
|
|
|
they are recollecting
it....You can say in a preface something about representing truth to the
best of your ability.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Is there any place in memoir
for dialogue?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
You have to use dialogue to
make it seem "realistic" but you can either write a prefatory
note or get it on tape.
|
|
|
I'd like to give a couple
of writers'
|
|
|
experiences with memoirs
versus fiction.
|
|
|
Alice Sebold wrote a memoir
called "Lucky" about being raped.
|
|
|
Then years later she wrote
a novel about a family healing from a murder, which was based on her
personal experience.
|
|
|
The novel was extremely
successful but first came the memoir. Another writer, Larry
Colton
|
|
|
tried to write a nonfiction
narrative about life for an Indian girl on a reservation but it didn't
sell.
|
|
|
He then recast it as a memoir,
and that was far more emotionally powerful and sold.
|
|
|
The point I'd like you all
to get is that there are many ways of using personal experience.
|
|
|
You can write direct memoir
but if you hold back in that, then try fiction....Or,
|
|
|
you can try "faction"
or "narrative nonfiction" in which you tell your story based on
facts but using dialogue, drama, and characterization.
|
|
|
Truman Capote's document
about the murder case, In Cold Blood, was called "faction"
because it was a mixture of fact and fictional techniques.
|
|
johnw
|
Regarding Larry Cotton :
didn't you say a while back that YOU are the main character in a memoir? So
did Larry Cotton become an Indian girl? Isn't that a fictional memoir?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Larry Colton wrote about
the impact on himself of knowing this Indian girl and watching her play
basketball....You can also write a book for children or magazine
article. I also think that writing family histories for your own
family's benefit and legacy is one of the most important things you can do.
Let me say that psychotherapists agree that you should write down the
skeletons in the closet too for posterity to see.
|
|
lorib
|
My idea is a memoir titled
Casualties of War...my father was a POW...lived with untreat PTSD and
because of that (I) we(brothers and sisters) grew up causalities of
WWII...I have researched the camp but should I stick with only the things
he told me?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
lorib, I'd research the
camp too and see what you learn about it and can add. Sounds like a
powerful story.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
It does indeed! And I had a
question about writing the family memoir.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
What about self publishing
for the person who simply wants to write about family matters for the
family? I know I have students like that.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Yes, nowadays with the
print-on-demand publishers, you can have lasting books produced. It's
very valuable to family heritages.
|
|
|
By the way, two of the most
popular print-on-demand publishers are www.iUniverse.com and
www.Xlibris.com.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
They're both excellent and
so is lulu.com
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Xlibris will incorporate
color pictures too.
|
|
gskearney
|
In response to Mary's
question, I'd like to add that I have been moderating and hosting an online
site that has a section for family history and genealogy. I think that's a
good solution for many people these days.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Another point about memoirs
is that while they may be more confessional, the writer also can analyze
his/her experience more.
|
|
|
What site is that gk?
|
|
gskearney
|
It's currently on
Myfamily.com, but I've used other sites as well.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Thanks, I'm sure that's
helpful.
|
|
flywriter
|
Do you feel a memoir is
better written in the order the events occurred or reflecting and bringing
the reader periodically back to the present?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
It seems some chronology is
usually maintained, although as
|
|
|
in Bob Dylan's Chronicles,
there were gaps...He started with a scene from how he ended up, which
served as a nice frame to the book.
|
|
|
You can be creative in
structure.
|
|
kolanda
|
The historical society in my
hometown wants to put the book on my 5th generation grandfather in their
collection as was a prominent member of government there in the 1800's. So
I should maybe consider just a autobiography on him, then write the fiction
book later?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
That sounds good as long as
you won't run out of steam focusing on him.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
A writer once said that in
memoirs he wrote things he couldn't discuss socially...That's the advantage
and appeal of memoirs.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Okay, I have to come back to
the trademark and fair use issue. Since we were SO opposite on this (and I
was SO sure I was right) I had to go look it up on one of my legal sites.
And I'm wrong, Valerie is right. You CAN use trademarks now (it has changed
since I started writing) with a bunch of caveats. If they're non
pejorative. Here's the link: http://www.publaw.com/fairusetrade.html
|
|
|
I bow to your greater
rightness here, Valerie! :-)
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Wow, that was fast, Mary!...Thanks
for illuminating the subject for us all.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Well, I’m glad I looked. I
sure had it wrong and I try to keep up on things like that!
|
|
|
Well, we're almost out of
time here. Valerie do you want to tell us about anything you have out now
or coming out?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
As we are closing in on the
two hours, I want to add that memoirs have more "art" than blogs.
|
|
|
My most recent book is
called Dreaming of Animals, which is a mixture of people's dreams and
stories about how they relate to wild animals...My aim is to build a more
heartfelt caring for endangered species.
|
|
|
And dreams show us what we
need to do to heal ourselves and the earth.
|
|
|
My most successful book was
The Inner Lover, I believe, because of so much personal material.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Any last suggestions for
writers wanting to try memoir for the first time?
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
I say be brave and
diligent, let nothing distract you.
|
|
|
Use your best artistic
sensibilities and revise later.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Thank you, Valerie! This has
been very informative. Personal narrative, memoir, and autobiography get
bandied about a lot.
|
|
|
I'm much clearer on which is
what now.
|
|
|
I think we all learned a lot
here tonight.
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
You're welcome...It's been
fun and informative to me too.
|
|
flywriter
|
Thank you Valerie and Mary!
|
|
lorib
|
Thank you Valerie
|
|
writeaway
|
Thank you, Valerie for a most
interesting dicussion. And thank you Mary, it's been great...as always.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Thank you all for coming!
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
You're most welcome.
|
|
Mary Rosenblum
|
Thanks, so much, Valerie!
And good night!
|
|
|
Good night all, and enjoy
writing those memoirs!
|
|
Valerie Harms
|
Good night, all.
|