Forum Transcripts

Expose Yourself: Writing in First Person 6/3/05

Event start time:

Fri Jun 03 19:02:15 2005

Event end time:

Fri Jun 03 20:31:28 2005



Legend:
Questions from the Audience are presented in red.
Answers by the Speaker are in black.
The Moderator's comments are in blue.

mary rosenblum

Hello all.

mary rosenblum

I hope you've had a good week.

mary rosenblum

I apologize for missing our open chat this morning after I said I would be there...

mary rosenblum

but the virus I caught still has me in its grip and doing and interview and then editing and posting transcripts...

mary rosenblum

is a pretty intense four hour session. I really was a lot worse this morning and figured...

mary rosenblum

I'd better save my energy for this afternoon.

mary rosenblum

Don't know how many people we'll have on a spring Friday afternoon. :-)

mary rosenblum

Hard to be inside when it's still daylight outside.

gwanny

Mary, if you arent up to this then you should rest

mary rosenblum

Actually, I think I'm finally getting better rather than worse.

mary rosenblum

I wanted to talk about first person in terms of characterization.

mary rosenblum

Because in a lot of ways, characterization is much more critical in a first person piece than it is in something written in third person...

mary rosenblum

where a lot of action and dramatic visuals can carry the reader along.

mary rosenblum

This is our After Hours Forum, with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and tonight we're talking about first person. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..

mary rosenblum

And for some reason, first person really seems to be the more popular of the two main writing voices.

mary rosenblum

And because of that...

mary rosenblum

I see quite a bit of rather weak first person fiction...and it actually carries over into nonfiction, too.

mary rosenblum

The reason for this is that in first person...

mary rosenblum

the narrator is the main character...or one of the main characters.

mary rosenblum

And the only means for demonstrating character is through the words that character speaks.

mary rosenblum

Even the description will be filtered through that character, so essentially, every word you write in a first person piece IS characterization.

mary rosenblum

So writing you really need to think about how your character actually talks.

mary rosenblum

What words he/she would use. Vocabulary level. Age.

wingedwarrior24

would this mean repeating words a lot is common?

mary rosenblum

Depends on your character, winged.

mary rosenblum

If your character is a ten year old kid from a farm family who is getting Ds in school...

mary rosenblum

he might well repeat words a lot since he might not have a huge or complex vocabulary.

mary rosenblum

If he's an English professor, he's going to describe the same landscape to us, say, in very different terms.

mary rosenblum

Think about meeting someone at a party.

mary rosenblum

AFter you get done ...ahem...noticing all the gender-related decoration...

mary rosenblum

how do you begin to decide what this person is like?

mary rosenblum

You notice..even subconsciously...what that person says, what words he or she chooses...

mary rosenblum

and you find TONS of hints about where this person grew up, what his/her personal beliefs and prejudices are...

mary rosenblum

education level...many things.

mary rosenblum

And you decide...'like' or...'exit gracefully'...and act accordingly.

mary rosenblum

And that's what you need to consciously work on revealing as your character talks about whatever is going on.

mary rosenblum

Backstory, essentially.

gwanny

when I switch from writing 1rst person dialogue, both internal and spoken, to narration, I confuse myself.

mary rosenblum

It can be confusing, gwanny. And that's why it's a good idea NOT to use first person if you anticipate...

mary rosenblum

a lot of dialogue in your story.

mary rosenblum

You CAN do it that way, but you're probably going to have an easier time with third, so you might want to give it a try and see if it works for you.

mary rosenblum

The transition from first person narratation to dialogue can be a bit bumpy for the reader.

mary rosenblum

I walked up to Sonora. "Hey," I said. "Didn't see you in Algebra."

mary rosenblum

"Becuase I wasn't there." She gave me this big smile, but her eyes were saying back off. I wondered what was going on.

mary rosenblum

"Yeah, right, you want a ride home?"

mary rosenblum

"No." She grabbed her backpack, slung it over her shoulder like it didn't have ten tons of extra books in it.

mary rosenblum

"See you," she says and you can hear that she means never if she can help it. What the heck did I do?

mary rosenblum

No matter how well you do dialogue, it does tend to sound a bit stilted in first person because we have the narrative voice of the main character in between her comments.

mary rosenblum

Even if you reduce the narrative in between it still tends to sound a bit less real than in thired.

mary rosenblum

I walked up to Sonora.

mary rosenblum

"Hey," I said, "I didn't see you in Algebra."

mary rosenblum

"Because I wasn't there."

mary rosenblum

"Yeah, right. You want a ride home?"

mary rosenblum

"No." She grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder...

mary rosenblum

and here I went back to narrative. The dialogue, without any narrative at all, sounds kind of stark, so you're caught between a rock and a hard place.

mary rosenblum

It's not a big deal if there isn't a lot of dialogue...

mary rosenblum

if you read some of the classic first person...say Raymond Chandler's hard boiled PI novels..,

mary rosenblum

while his MC does have conversations, they tend to be brief, terse, and to the point. Most of the books are the character talking to himself and us, of course.

wingedwarrior24

in first person can there be descrition or does it have to come from narrative?

wingedwarrior24

dialouge i mean

mary rosenblum

Well, I'm not entirely sure what you're asking, winged. Everything in first person normally is told to us by the first person POV.

mary rosenblum

She describes the scenery, he describes the action. The description is done in the character's voice and the dialogue is commented on by the POV, as I did above.

wingedwarrior24

does the MC have to say what he/she sees or can you use descrition

mary rosenblum

Ah, that's what I thought you meant. Nope, it's the MC who does the description.

mary rosenblum

And this is a BIG reason to think about your POV choice.

mary rosenblum

If you want to show the reader a really complex and lush landscape...

mary rosenblum

and your first person POV has seen this landscape all his or her life...

mary rosenblum

why should that character even notice those details.

mary rosenblum

When was the last time you really NOTICED all the details in your living room? (Unless you are the person who does the dusting! LOL)

mary rosenblum

A garden is my favorite example.

mary rosenblum

A POV who is a fanatic gardener will stroll along and notice flowers by name, think about the colors, the design of the garden, how nice it looks for the season..

mary rosenblum

and a lawyer POV whose hobby is model aircraft and who couldn't tell a dandilion from a daffodil if his life depended on it...

mary rosenblum

might walk by the same garden, glance at it and think 'pollen factory'.

mary rosenblum

If you want to show that garden to the reader in detail you either need a POV who is NOT the lawyer...

mary rosenblum

or you need to find a reason to make Mr. Lawyer notice the garden and even then, he won't know the names of the flowers.

mary rosenblum

So instead of saying 'tulip' and the reader will get it...

mary rosenblum

he is going to have to notice 'a bunch of those spring flowers...the tall pink ones you always see this time of year... and hope your readers see tulips!

mary rosenblum

Now of course, you can get away with even a garden hating guy like this knowing what a tulip is. :-)

mary rosenblum

But he's not going to say 'nice delphiniums...I love that shade of vibrant blue'.

mary rosenblum

And if you do that, it jolts the reader. Not this character they think.

mary rosenblum

This is our After Hours Forum, with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and tonight we're talking about first person. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..

gwanny

I loose the Strength of the 1rst person POV after a while

mary rosenblum

That is such a common problem, gwanny and the problem most people have.

mary rosenblum

Let's face it, with first person, you have to listen to the same voice for a loooong time.

mary rosenblum

In a short, that's not a big deal. In a novel it is a BIG deal.

mary rosenblum

Your character's voice needs to be interesting.

mary rosenblum

It needs to add to the story, not just become a monotone that delivers description.

mary rosenblum

Take some time to talk to your character and give him/her a pattern of speech and habits that are NOT yours.

mary rosenblum

Writing a long monologue in that character's voice...perhaps a long riff about his or her past... is a good way to start.

mary rosenblum

Really try to have this person speak or use words in a way you wouldn't do yourself. :-) Something that perhaps would make you correct this person if he/she was your kid.

mary rosenblum

That will help keep you aware of what you're doing.

mary rosenblum

The trick is...before you sit down to work on your story or your novel...

mary rosenblum

read over your monologue. Do it out loud if you can...

mary rosenblum

that way you 'get into' that voice and start hearing it before you start writing.

mary rosenblum

The reason is this.

mary rosenblum

Everyone. Everyone. Everyone will use his/her own voice if you do not consciously do otherwise all the way through the story.

mary rosenblum

And what does that do? It turns your teen runaway, your homeless guy, your criminal, your striving young hero to be into.....YOU.

mary rosenblum

And unless you and the character are a perfect match...all of a sudden your character seems to be a costume draped on a real person who is not the one you told the reader would be running this story.

wingedwarrior24

In 1st pov, as I think, that character could be telling another character a story, as in Dolores Claiborn...can that listener character speak?

mary rosenblum

The POV is always telling a story to someone. You can try to make that someone the character himself (and us)...by making it seem as if this peson is thinking about what is happening as it happens.

mary rosenblum

You can make the 'audience' clear. Grandpa sits down at Thanksgiving dinner and says, "Let me tell you about the time I almost ended up on the wrong side of the Bering Straight."

mary rosenblum

And you can have the listener answer....but it DOES break into the story and jolt the reader out of the ongoing action...

mary rosenblum

for example, if we're on that boat in the howling gale that is pushing it across the straight to Russia...

mary rosenblum

and Gramps breaks off to admonish Junior to eat his mashed potatoes so Granny can finally bring on the pie...

mary rosenblum

we are jolted right off that boat and land 'whomp' in the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table. Not comfortable. :-) There goes your building supsense!

mary rosenblum

But if your aim is NOT to keep the reader on the edge of his/her seat,then this can indeed work...

mary rosenblum

and your story can be episodic with breaks to your 'now' here and there.

mary rosenblum

It's doable, just hard to pull off effectively...takes work.

mary rosenblum

This is our After Hours Forum, with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and tonight we're talking about first person. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..

gwanny

And that is exactly why, although I would love to write in the 1rst person, I am hesitant. I am afraid everyone will begin to sound like "me",,,because I keep thinking in the "I" . Hope that makes sense.

mary rosenblum

Sure it does, gwanny. But play with it. Write scenes in first person. You'll probably find you're better at it than you think. Just remember that you are the character as you speak. :-)

mary rosenblum

Think of it as role playing. You put on your character's world view and speak with his voice for awhile.

firelizard

How can you tell about the character's past in first person?

mary rosenblum

Wow, fire, that can be tough.

mary rosenblum

If your character is the kind of person who likes to talk to people about his past...not a problem...

mary rosenblum

he'll babble about it all over the place. :-)

mary rosenblum

But if that character is shy, or reticent or...aha...pay attention to this there will be a quizz...wants to HIDE his or her past...

mary rosenblum

then good luck. :-) You'll have to find a way to reveal what you want through a minimum amount of info on your POV's part.

mary rosenblum

Sometimes you can have other characters say or do something that forces your POV to think briefly about something that will illuminate that past.

mary rosenblum

Ok the nice little trick here...

mary rosenblum

If you want to fool your readers...

mary rosenblum

say your POV who seems soooo nice is the serial killer..

mary rosenblum

then use first person.

mary rosenblum

He can charm and beguile us just like his victims and hide everything from us...

mary rosenblum

until he lets us in on the 'joke'.

gwanny

I read a 1rst person novel last night. When the characters past was brought into the story line, there would be a lead in at the end of a chapter, and a new chapter would reveal the MCs past. When finished, on to another chapter

mary rosenblum

Was the POV just pausing to tell more about the 'old days' at the start of the new chapter, gwanny?

mary rosenblum

Or was it actually a separated segment in third person narrative?

gwanny

yes

mary rosenblum

Yes, character was telling us? I think that was the timing of your 'yes'. :-)

gwanny

NO,,I'm sorry,,,narrative was telling us the past

mary rosenblum

OH, okay.

mary rosenblum

Yes, you can do that...you see it in some historical work in both third and first person...

mary rosenblum

where a narrative piece...sometimes in the form of a passage from a history book...informs the reader at intervals.

mary rosenblum

That can work. Depends on what you are trying to achieve.

pliz

In a novel can you have different 1st pov in different chapters?

mary rosenblum

You can, pliz, but ohboy do you have to have DIFFERENT voices.

mary rosenblum

They need to be so different that when the reader opens the book after work, he/she knows whose voice this is without having to flip back and figure it out.

mary rosenblum

I've seen first and third, too.

mary rosenblum

Again...they can work. It depends on what you are trying to achieve.

mary rosenblum

The most important thing to remember in first person..

mary rosenblum

is that every word that comes from your POV's mouth is creating his/her character...

mary rosenblum

so those words need to belong to your CHARACTER and not to YOU.

mary rosenblum

Unless this is a personal narrative nonfiction piece and you ARE the MC!

mary rosenblum

And let's talk about that for a sec here, because of course, the personal narrative market is very big.

mary rosenblum

There you are, of course, using your vocabulary and your word choices...

mary rosenblum

but there, too, remember that the goal is to entertain your audience as much as inform them about something...

mary rosenblum

and most of the time, it's primarily to entertain them.

mary rosenblum

So work on making that voice larger than life.

mary rosenblum

A little more dramatic than you would be in a convesation with your next door neighbor, probably.

wingedwarrior24

So writing 1st POV will take longer then 3rd?

mary rosenblum

Well, no, not really. You need to put an equal amount of thought into portraying characeter in your third person POV character...

mary rosenblum

but too many novice writers use first because it seems 'easy'...

mary rosenblum

and it should not be easy!

mary rosenblum

It should require some real thought about the character or presto! YOU will appear in the role.

mary rosenblum

This is our After Hours Forum, with me, Mary Rosenblum, your web editor and tonight we're talking about first person. I've published seven novels and more than 60 short stories and will do my best to answer any questions you have. If you're new here, remember that you need to click on the 'Ask a Question' button or the 'word bubble' next to the red question mark at the top of the screen in order to ask a question. Your regular 'send' bar won't reach me! Or you can use /ask and type your question into the regular send bar if that works better for you..

mary rosenblum

Think about a cranky old man and a new empty nester..a woman say in her fifties.

mary rosenblum

The old man lives hear a school and loves his garden which he tends daily.

mary rosenblum

Kids are always cutting through his yard and stomping on his flowers. He HATES them.

mary rosenblum

Our empty nester just sent her youngest daughter off to college and misses kids.

mary rosenblum

If these two walk through a playground, how will each person see the scene? Hmmmm?

mary rosenblum

What do the plants look like, the grass, the play equipment, the kids on the play equipment?

mary rosenblum

They will look very different to each of those characters, yes? At least the words they use as they notice those items should be quite different.

mary rosenblum

What for example, does the old man see when he looks at the kids?

mary rosenblum

What does the woman see?

mary rosenblum

How would you describe the scene through one of those two pairs of eyes?

gwanny

he would say little brats,,etc,,she would say little sweeties etc

mary rosenblum

Yep, of course.

mary rosenblum

And she might not notice the condition of the grass and plants right?

mary rosenblum

But he would and blame the kids for damage, yes?

mary rosenblum

Every time your first person POV notices something, we get a glimpse of how he/she feels about it, thinks of it, regards it..

mary rosenblum

we get a taste of his/her worldview/prejudices/likes/dislikes...a wealth of information in tiny, bare noticeable bits. :-)

gwanny

so each character has thier own perspective and I have to maintain thier perspectives and forget mine,,,and not confuse thiers either

mary rosenblum

Yep. Every POV character has his/her own perspective on the world and unless you are the MC it is not yours.

mary rosenblum

It may be like yours in many ways, but it is not yours.

mary rosenblum

Although...to be honest...at the core, our character generally ARE like us. :-)

mary rosenblum

As you get to know more and more professional writers you'll realize that their personalities...

mary rosenblum

and their world views are right there on the page for you to see if you look. :-)

gwanny

I agree, i see it in my own writing

mary rosenblum

You really can't avoid it, you just don't want it to supercede the characterization...

pliz

Like Elizabeth Berg and Jodi Picoult?

mary rosenblum

Don't know the, pliz, but everybody reaveals themself to some degree in their writing...not always obviously.

mary rosenblum

Sometimes it's very subtle if they are good at characterization.

mary rosenblum

If they are not particularly strong character writers it's easier to see.

firelizard

so when should we use 1st person?

mary rosenblum

Well, everybody has a preference fire. If you HATE one voice, write the one you love to use.

mary rosenblum

But if you can learn to write the other, it will give you more flexibility. I am a third person writer...

mary rosenblum

but there are stories that simply work better in first and those I write in first. One has been included in the 04 Best of the Year SF.

mary rosenblum

It wouldn't be there if I had written it in third, I suspect.

geezer

If you regress my brother 40 yrs and give him more hair you see my supporting character. I was surprised.

mary rosenblum

Oh yeah... LOL

mary rosenblum

and believe me...the fiction universe is FULL of inside jokes!

mary rosenblum

Most good natured...a few not.

info

I seen an episode of Star Trek once where Mark Twain was a character. Another character looked at him as stated he wished he was able to really get to know Mark Twain better. Mark Twain character responded by saying, Just read my books. Who I really am is in them. That is pretty much what we do by bringing our characters to life and giving them their own voice, in essence, letting a particular part of ourselves out.

mary rosenblum

Exactly, info. You WILL write what you know and you know yourself better than anyone else.

mary rosenblum

Oh yes...

mary rosenblum

I got sidetracked from fire's question! Sorry!

mary rosenblum

I find that no matter what voice you prefer...

mary rosenblum

first person tends to be a better choice if your character will do a lot of thinking.

mary rosenblum

If she is locked in a tower for most of the story and planning her revenge...why not skip all that thinking and just let her do the monologue in first person?

mary rosenblum

It is THE good choice if you want your POV to lie to the reader.

mary rosenblum

In third person we take for granted that we can eavesdrop on your POV's thoughts...so if he is the serial killer and he never thinks about it...

mary rosenblum

readers will be ticked off and blame the author for cheating.

mary rosenblum

BUT in first we only know what the POV tells us.

mary rosenblum

So if he chooses to lie....not the author's fault!

mary rosenblum

Third works better if you want a lot of description and your character is not the type to notice those details.

mary rosenblum

It is also simpler to sneak in a bit more information than your character may actually be able to provide in third.

lilmac

I write in the first person. How do I get third person?

mary rosenblum

An excellent exercise...one I did in reverse to teach myself to use first...

mary rosenblum

is to pick out a scene you have written in first person and rewrite it in third.

mary rosenblum

That's excellent practice.

mary rosenblum

The more flexibility you have as a writer, the more you can stretch and exand your horizons for what you can write well.

mary rosenblum

Learning to write in a way that is new, or to write something new is excellent for you ability overall.

mary rosenblum

And if something just doesn't seem to want to come to life...

mary rosenblum

change the voice. If it is in first, switch to third.

mary rosenblum

If it is in third, try first.

mary rosenblum

I've revitalized a couple of stalled stories that way.

mary rosenblum

Well, this has been a fun Oregon hour, and I feel MUCH better than I did last night after the interview. Maybe I have this virus licked finally!

mary rosenblum

Hope so, she says fervently!

mary rosenblum

I'll post this at the usual place : Writing Craft/Forum Transcript.

mary rosenblum

Do join us for our casual chat on Sunday at the same time/same place. I WILL be there!

 

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