Forum Transcripts

Narrative: Neither Good Nor Bad 11/22/05

Event start time:

Tue Nov 22 12:08:42 2005

Event end time:

Tue Nov 22 13:33:26 2005



Legend:
Questions from the Audience are presented in red.
Answers by the Speaker are in black.
The Moderator's comments are in blue.

mary rosenblum

Good morning all.

mary rosenblum

I hope you had a fine weekend and are enjoying this Thanksgiving week. (well Thanksgiving for those of us down here in the states).

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We’re talking about narrative today. If you’re new here, remember that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won’t reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

I wanted to talk about narrative today because it is probably the most confusing...

mary rosenblum

aspect of craft for beginning writers.

mary rosenblum

Sometimes you get told it's not good...

mary rosenblum

Sometimes you get told it IS good.

mary rosenblum

And both are true!

mary rosenblum

Narrtive is a term that gets tossed around a lot and has many actual meanings...

mary rosenblum

and that can really confuse people when you're just starting out.

mary rosenblum

So let's start from the beginning.

mary rosenblum

What is narrative?

mary rosenblum

Essentially, it is everything that is not dialogue. That is the broadest definition.

andi

isn't that people talking

mary rosenblum

Yes and no, Andi.

mary rosenblum

Dialogue is actually someone speaking.

mary rosenblum

Narrative is someone telling us something.

mary rosenblum

That someone may be a character in a first person POV story...

mary rosenblum

or it may be the author in a third person POV story.

lapart

if you start narrative should u end the novel with narrative

mary rosenblum

Here again, we're using 'narrative' very generally and the problem is that we need to be very specific...

mary rosenblum

about what we mean by 'narrative'.

mary rosenblum

If you begin the novel in narrative voice...either a first person POV character is telling the story...

mary rosenblum

or the author is telling the story (think memoir)...

mary rosenblum

Then it is certainly a LOT easier to stick to that voice all the way through the novel.

mary rosenblum

AS a first time novelist, I'd suggest that you do that.

fiction_scribe

- is narrative when the reader is being "talked to" and dialoge when the characters are talking to each other?

mary rosenblum

Exactly, fiction.

mary rosenblum

And there are many ways to work with narrative to make the readers forget that the author is talking to them

mary rosenblum

That is what 'show, don't tell' is all about.

mary rosenblum

We use narrative, but we make the readers feel as if they are seeing action for themselves rather than listening to us tell them about it.

mary rosenblum

That's why you may find a 'this is too narrative' written on a story you have turned in for a critique.

mary rosenblum

What the critiquer is saying is that the story feels too 'told'.

mary rosenblum

But fundamentally, even powerful prose that makes the readers think they are seeing the action is STILL narrative. :-)

mary rosenblum

Because of course the author IS telling the story.

ling630

Isn't that where characterization comes into play? We are showing all characters?

mary rosenblum

Charcterization and narrative distance, ling...where you place your reader in relation to the scene...

mary rosenblum

It's a matter of HOW you write narrative.

mary rosenblum

Narrative is neither good nor bad in and of itself...it can be done poorly or well for THIS story.

mary rosenblum

Patrick McManun, Bailey White, and Alice Walker all write narrative books.

mary rosenblum

They are very popular and strong writers.

ling630

So in other words it is what you are trying to convey then. Is the story teller important or the actual characters?

mary rosenblum

That's a pretty good way of putting it, ling.

mary rosenblum

There are many ways to tell a story.

mary rosenblum

Sometimes the author tells it and we enjoy it the way we'd enjoy listening to a storyteller or to a bedtime story.

mary rosenblum

Other times, we immerse our readers in the story so that they merge with the characters...

mary rosenblum

and live the story with them.

mary rosenblum

Sometimes we let the character tell the story to us. (first person POV)

mary rosenblum

These are all valid ways to tell a story.

mary rosenblum

Where writers run into trouble is when they have one intent, but fail to make the narrative do that job.

mary rosenblum

The most common example is when the writer intends to immerse the character in the action but tells the readers about it in his/her own voice.

mary rosenblum

So the reader never is actually drawn into that action. They just listen.

andi

a crazy question what does charactierization and narrative distince mean

mary rosenblum

Characterization is the portrayal of your story's character as a three dimensional real person andi...

mary rosenblum

that means someone whom we believe deep down inside is real.

mary rosenblum

And narrative distance is the location of the reader in relation to the scene.

mary rosenblum

Zero narrative distance is when the reader sees through the POV character's eyes and perceives the scene through that character's senses.

mary rosenblum

The larger the narrative distance, the farther back from that we move.

mary rosenblum

There's an article on Narrative Distance on the LR Website: Writing Craft....Craft.

ling630

I seem to write always third person point of view so would that be an example of what narrative is? I am removed from the story but I am still telling it and sometimes in it.

mary rosenblum

Narrative is used in first, second, and third personPOV ling.

mary rosenblum

Any time you are not writing dialogue you are writing narrative.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We’re talking about narrative today. If you’re new here, remember that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won’t reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

janecj333

Mary, give us examples, a sentence with poor narrative and one that's good

mary rosenblum

Let me do that...Ling I'll use third person, so you can see the difference between..

mary rosenblum

narrative as in the author telling the story...

mary rosenblum

and narrative that immerses the reader in the action.

mary rosenblum

Dana slipped around the corner of the barn. Paused. LIstened. She heard only wind, squinted as she tried to pierce the shadows in the sagging shed. Maybe they had gone? She nocked an arrow to her bow and slid along the barn wall, using the burned out skeleton of the tractor as cover.

mary rosenblum

We see only what Dana is looking at and since she is obviously in fear of something that might attack her, she is only looking for threats.

mary rosenblum

Notice the sentence fragments.

mary rosenblum

The narrative is written as much as possible to resemble Dana's own awareness of what is going on.

mary rosenblum

The sentence fragments emulate the way we think...in scraps of consciousness and imagery.

mary rosenblum

Let me do this in narrative that is the author telling us this...

mary rosenblum

Dana slispped around the corner of the barn. She paused and listened carefully for any sounds of the raiders. She heard nothing but the sound of wind and the faint cries of birds as she tried to pierce the shadows in the sagging shed.

mary rosenblum

Maybe the raiding party had left? The young scout nocked an arrow to her bow and slid along the barn wall, using the burned out skeleton of the tractor.

mary rosenblum

Now this gives us more information but it gives us less sense of being in Dana's head...of sharing the action with her.

mary rosenblum

If you want the reader immersed in this scene, it is not going to do the job as well.

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We’re talking about narrative today. If you’re new here, remember that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won’t reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

lapart

whats the difference in novel narrative and playwrite narrat

mary rosenblum

In a play, you are essentially writing only dialogue with stage directions.

mary rosenblum

There, the narrative is the voice of each character.

mary rosenblum

Same thing with a screenplay.

mary rosenblum

It is up to the actor to do what we do with narrative in prose...show the scene, deepen the characterization.

fiction_scribe

I find my narrative more distant when writing cross gender - any suggestions?

mary rosenblum

A lot of that is probably the fact that you're not as comfortable 'being' the other gender as you are being your own gender. :-)

mary rosenblum

It's just a matter of practice, mostly.

mary rosenblum

Write scenes with a character of the other gender and give it to a writer who is OF that gender.

mary rosenblum

Ask if it works and if not, why not.

mary rosenblum

Narrative intrusions are another common 'critique comment'.

mary rosenblum

Usually you'll find this if you're writing in third person POV.

mary rosenblum

In that case, a narrative intrusion is where the author breaks into the scene and talks like a voice-over in a movie or TV show.

mary rosenblum

Using our earlier example, let me show you a narrative intrusion:

mary rosenblum

Dana slipped around the corner of the barn. Paused. Listened. She heard only wind, squinted as she tried to pierce the shadows in the sagging shed. She and her band of Guardians had been out scouting for raiders when they saw the smoke from the burning homestead. Now, ringing the burned out ruins, they crept cautiously toward the buildings, hoping to surprise the raiders still at work. But it was too late. They had already moved on.

mary rosenblum

There is a noticeable 'shift' in tone from Dana's actions to the info-dump about the Guardians and what they are doing and what has happened.

mary rosenblum

While this certainly supplies a lot of information it deflates the tention in this scene and stops the forward momentum of the story...

mary rosenblum

slowing the pace to a crawl.

kcgreen

what is a good balance between narrative and dialog?

mary rosenblum

You need enough narrative to keep the reader grounded in the scene, KC...

mary rosenblum

if you have nothing but line after line of dialogue...

mary rosenblum

you end up with a 'talking heads' scene...where we have the effect of disembodied heads jabbering in a gray mist. :-)

mary rosenblum

Using action tags can keep the reader connected to the scene without bogging down the dialogue.

janecj333

I think of penetrating narrative as something we would experience with every sense : Dana might slip in icy cold mud, wind might whistle through broken boards, shadows would hang threatening in the shed...its all in the tactile nature of it, the verbs in a lot of cases...what do you think?

mary rosenblum

Absolutely, and what makes it really powerful is to zero the narrative distance...

mary rosenblum

in otherwords to describe the sensations they way the character would be aware of them...

mary rosenblum

rather than describing them as things happening TO her.

mary rosenblum

From an outside perspective.

telcontar

so when would be a good time to add that info? We need to know she's not alone, that they're professionals, etc...

mary rosenblum

YOu would slip much of that information before you got to this scene if it's an 'interior' scene, tel...

mary rosenblum

WE would have seen the band decide on tactics and spread out to surround the homestead.

mary rosenblum

If this is an opening scene, the reader has enough to start with...a threat, our wary POV...

mary rosenblum

and as she meets up with her band, their conversation, anger, grief over the dead will inform us of everything I 'dumped' into that example.

mary rosenblum

YOu can slip backstory in a piece at a time.

gskearney

Please, please tell me what happened! You've got me all excited, and I don't know where to go to find out how it comes out. --gk

mary rosenblum

Aha, you have to go write it now, Gary. :-)

mary rosenblum

You know, you all are always free to use these scene bits I throw out and treat 'em as a seed...build on 'em.

mary rosenblum

I do that with writers workshops...especially with kids.

mary rosenblum

Give 'em a scene like this and they get to write the rest of the story. :-)

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We’re talking about narrative today. If you’re new here, remember that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won’t reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

mary rosenblum

The main problem that beginning writers have with narrative, from what I have seen...

mary rosenblum

is variation.

mary rosenblum

All too often, ALL narrative in a story sounds exactly alike.

mary rosenblum

Same words, same level of vocabulary, same use of idiom.

mary rosenblum

The characters use it. The narrative sounds just like the characters...

mary rosenblum

and it shades the story with the same tone...so that it becomes rather monotonous.

pook

Mary, do you know of a material you would recommend for kids who like writing, like a workbook or learning tape?

mary rosenblum

Sadly, pook, I don't. Would be fun to do one.

mary rosenblum

If you find a good one, let me know will you?

lapart

how to you get beyond everything sounding the same?

mary rosenblum

Essentially, you give characters each a unique voice, lapart.

mary rosenblum

That is harder than it seems and takes a bit of work on your part.

mary rosenblum

Your POV character's voice should be the one you use for narrative in the scene in limited third POV...

mary rosenblum

so that we feel that we're aware of the character's thoughts.

mary rosenblum

Each of the other characters in the story should sound quite different...from the MC and each other.

tory

If the narrative should be close to zero distance then it will sound like a particular characters tone, no? It, of course, needs to change for levels of actions and tension, but, you confused me with your comments re: lack of variation.

mary rosenblum

You're also going to make small changes in order to 'color' each scene with emotional tone...dark, light, tense, relaxed...

mary rosenblum

You might intentionally use passive voice in a langorous scene or where the MC is behaving...

mary rosenblum

in a passive fashion.

mary rosenblum

You're going to use a hard, tight, maybe chopy type of narrative when the scene reflects anger, fear, stress, pain.

mary rosenblum

try typing /ask and then typing your question in the regular send bar, andi

mary rosenblum

ARe you asking how to show emotional tone with narrative, andi?

mary rosenblum

This is the Tuesday Forum with me Mary Rosenblum LR Web Editor, fiction and nonfiction writer. We’re talking about narrative today. If you’re new here, remember that you need to click on the Ask a Question button or the word bubble next to the red question mark at the top of the screen, or use the ask a question icon in order to ask a question. Your regular send bar won’t reach me! You can also type /ask in front of your question to reach me.

andi

what you said the choppy hard type of narrative

mary rosenblum

Okay...

mary rosenblum

you create a sense of emotional background music by the word choices you make in your narrative.

mary rosenblum

Eleanor leaned against the sunwarmed rock, the sunshine like warm honey on her skin. The willow leaves shaded her with a lacy screen and swallows twirled and soared in the crystal sky above.

mary rosenblum

This is a languid and relaxed scene. I've used long sentences and 'loaded' words that reflect comfort and a plesant feel:

mary rosenblum

warm honey, lacy, twirled, crystal. All positive nuance.

mary rosenblum

Eleanor crouched against the cliff, scorched by the sun's fire. Willow twigs clawedat the hard sky. Birds circled, spying.

mary rosenblum

The choppiness gives this a breathless feel, as if our character is panting from tension or fear.

lapart

can the different types of narrative structures be combine?

mary rosenblum

Which types, lapart? YOu mean narrative that gives different emotional feelings?

mary rosenblum

Yes, you vary that from scene to scene and within scenes in order to create rising and falling dramatic tone.

janecj333

instead of the info dump, thry this? ...She and Talos didn't have time to check every burning homestead! When would the peasants dare to defend themselves? A jackrabbit skittered in the brush; surely if any Raiders hid nearby it would be twice dead.

mary rosenblum

Yes, jane..

mary rosenblum

this is a lot of internal thought on our character's part and it's a great way to give the readers information.

lapart

intrusion and emotional

mary rosenblum

Narrative intrusion is different than 'weighting' your narrative to reflect a particular emotional shade, lapart.

mary rosenblum

Generally, narrative intrusion isn't a good idea.

mary rosenblum

It simply jolts the reader out of any rapport he/she has with the story and shouts "I am the author and this story is not real!"

mary rosenblum

Remember...narrative intrusion is narrative written in the AUTHOR"S voice.

mary rosenblum

The author 'intrudes' into the story to dump information in front of the reader.

gskearney

I think most of these techniques would also apply mostly to the second or third draft after you have the bones of the story down? Worrying too much about word choice while I'm figuring out what's going on distracts me. --gk

mary rosenblum

Exactly, gary.

mary rosenblum

This is a good mantra: Do it in the second draft.

mary rosenblum

It applies to just about everything we talk about here.

mary rosenblum

Don't THINK when you're doing the first draft. Just let the story create itself.

mary rosenblum

Don't WORRY about craft.

mary rosenblum

That has no place in the act of creation.

mary rosenblum

Craft is editing and that should come later.

mary rosenblum

Yes, the more you do this, the more you're aware of technique, the more you will do it during your first draft..

mary rosenblum

but you won't have to think about it, any more than someone highly trained in ballet thinks about the pirouette he performs because he's just heard some good news.

mary rosenblum

He just DOES it.

pook

IS the outline in the creation phase?

mary rosenblum

For me, it's a mix, pook, and pretty hard work at that.

mary rosenblum

I'm thinking about structure, I'm thinking about dramatic arc, and setting up guidelines.

mary rosenblum

I think of it as if I am setting up lighthouses across a sea.

mary rosenblum

Once I start swimming, I sort of stick my head up now and again...make sure I"m heading for the next light house, and then go back to enjoying the sea life and exploring the reef under me.

mary rosenblum

As I write a scene, I am only concerned with the character interactions...not the niceties of craft.

mary rosenblum

although at this point I do a LOT of what you all will do in draft two in my first draft...

mary rosenblum

because I don't have to think about it anymore.

mary rosenblum

Practice does that to you.

mary rosenblum

The main thing to remember about narrative is that this is a very general term.

mary rosenblum

There is no ONE type of narrative.

mary rosenblum

It should do different things in different cirmustances.

mary rosenblum

It is not good.

mary rosenblum

It is not bad.

mary rosenblum

It is prose without quotation marks.

mary rosenblum

And if you think about it, even dialogue is narrative, it is simply narrative in the voice of the speaking character.

gskearney

Success in writing is written on the hearts of the readers. __gk

mary rosenblum

Lovely way to put it , Gary!!!

mary rosenblum

I think I'll stick that one onto my monitor.

andi

I think I read somewhere to put quotation marks around what the character is telling herself

mary rosenblum

ONly if that character is speaking out loud, andi.

mary rosenblum

If she is talking to herself inside her own head, no quotes.

pook

Is description a specific type of narrative? What's exposition?

mary rosenblum

Exposition is description Pook.

mary rosenblum

You'll hear the term 'expository lump' used a lot.

mary rosenblum

My narrative intrusion earlier, where I interrupted Dana's adventure to tell the readers all about what was going on...

mary rosenblum

could also be called an expository lump...a big batch of description that stops the forward momentum of the story, deflates the tension and brings the pace to a standstill.

mary rosenblum

Expository lumps aren't necessarily in the author's voice...

mary rosenblum

narrative intrusions are just lumps in the voice of the author.

mary rosenblum

Action makes the story move forward...

mary rosenblum

and a lot of description makes the story slow down and stop.

mary rosenblum

If you want a face paced, taut scene, use lots of action, little description.

mary rosenblum

If you want a slow, relaxed scene, use less action more description.

mary rosenblum

any last questions about all things narrative?

mary rosenblum

A lot of the confusion stems from those overlapping terms.

mary rosenblum

Exposition is narrative, so is action, so is

mary rosenblum

everything, essentially...

mary rosenblum

and they all get other 'labels' too.

lapart

does narrative moves the plot?

mary rosenblum

Of course, lapart. Your story IS narrative.

mary rosenblum

It is how you use that narrative, what form you give it, that moves your plot.

mary rosenblum

You use action, dialogue, description...

janecj333

if narrative comes from 'to narrate, to know', does exposition come form 'expose'?

mary rosenblum

I think the latin root is 'to show', but it has been way too many years since I took latin, jane.

mary rosenblum

Since narrative is essentally everything, we subdivide it into different 'jobs'...

mary rosenblum

exposition and action for example.

janecj333

when I want to slow a scene, I sometimes pan out like a wide-angled lens; other times I look down at the most minute of objects for exquisite detail

mary rosenblum

That's varying the narrative distance, jane, and it's a good way to vary the tension of the scene.

mary rosenblum

Well, this has been a fun Oregon hour.

mary rosenblum

I hope this helps you untangle that skene of 'writing terms' that can get so overwhelming.

gskearney

Bye, Mary. Thanks. Happy holidays everyone. --gk

mary rosenblum

YOu have a great Thanksgiving, too, Gary!

mary rosenblum

And I'll be here for the regular Forum on Friday.

mary rosenblum

Join us tomorrow for our casual chat...

mary rosenblum

same time and place as this Forum..

mary rosenblum

but we just hang out and visit.

mary rosenblum

And occasionally throw people into the moat. (You have to be there...)

speckledorf

Hey...Pam told me she finished her NaNo!

mary rosenblum

Woohoo!!! Way to go, Pam.

mary rosenblum

When I send out the next website update...next week...

mary rosenblum

I'll ask all you nano folk who are going to finish to tell me about your novel and I'll send out a special mailing so we can all applaud.

mary rosenblum

Bye all!

mary rosenblum

See you tomorrow for our casual chat!

 

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