Pitching the Query

By Mary Rosenblum

 

            Whether you write fiction or nonfiction, you’re probably going to face a query letter sooner or later.  In the nonfiction universe, most editors want you to query before submitting an article for consideration.  Increasingly, in the novel market, editors and agents request a query rather than the more traditional synopsis and three chapters or complete manuscript. 

            The query letter can be the most intimidating aspect of writing, and it should not be.  On the other hand, if an editor or agent will make a yes or no decision about asking to see your work, that query is very important, and practicing a good query is important to your writing career. 

            So what is a good query letter?  It is a brief hook that tells the editor ‘you really want to read this’.  Whether you’re offering an article on petunias to the editor of a garden magazine or a romantic thriller to a New York book editor, you’re doing the same thing – enticing that editor to ask for the entire work. 

 

It’s Not Just the Idea

            Too often, novice writers believe that the idea is everything, whether they’re writing nonfiction or fiction.  They have the best idea ever for a mystery, they have a super idea  for a magazine article.  That’s great, but editors learned early in their careers, that a good idea is only good if it’s written well.  This is especially true with fiction, where the story is everything.  The idea can be great, but if the writing or story are poor, that idea won’t sell the book.   If you write in a boring fashion, that idea won’t make the magazine readers happy either.  Entertainment – strong, snappy writing – matters to the editors and readers of most popular magazines. 

 

Show, Don’t Tell

            We’re back to basics again.  You’ve heard ‘show don’t tell’ many times since you began writing, surely.  But this is especially true in your query.   Let’s look at a couple of queries. 

            Dear Ms. Morris,

            I have written a very strong romantic  thriller, where the heroine falls in love with a mysterious man.  It takes place in the Bahamas.   They get involved with international terrorists and she’s in danger as she tries to figure out what is going on.  Your readers will love the drama and the suspense of Shark Season.    

            Well, this tells Ms. Morris that the author thinks the story has dramatic moments in it, but there’s nothing much in the query itself to suggest that this writer can write dramatic moments.  She starts off by telling the editor that she has written a book – which the editor can probably guess, since why else send a query letter?  She tells the editor that her readers will love this…but offers little proof.  So how can she make Ms.  Morris sit up and notice? 

            Dear Ms. Morris,

            Travel writer Cassandra O’Leary finds herself on a speeding  boat in the Bahamas  fleeing  for her life as an international terrorist ring fires on them.  Her mysterious boyfriend has dragged her into this wild adventure, but now she is beginning to wonder whose side he’s really on.  Will she live long enough to find out?  I’d like to offer your readers “Shark Season’, a romantic suspense novel. 

            This is the same story, but now, the author doesn’t tell Ms.  Morris that the book is exciting or that the heroine is in danger.  Instead, we are treated to Cassandra O’Leary fleeing in that speeding boat, wondering whose side her boyfriend is on.  The editor knows she’s a travel writer, the book has at least some dramatic action, and is a romantic suspense novel.   If the editor is looking for new books at all, she’s likely to ask for at least chapters and synopsis of this story.  She doesn’t have to take the author’s word for the drama of the story.  The author has ‘shown’ her a taste of it, and hopefully whetted her appetite for more.  Ms. Morris is looking for authors who will give the readers a ‘good read’.  Which of these query letters seems to promise that good read? 

 

Modesty is Not The Best Policy

            Many of us feel uncomfortable ‘blowing our own horn’.  And while an over the top ‘this story is the best thing you’ll have read since Tolkien’ is likely to get you an eye-roll from the editor, you do not want to scuff your toe and diffidently offer your work as ‘maybe good enough’.  He is going to believe you if you have a ‘this really isn’t much’ attitude.  Why should he waste his time with it if you don’t think it’s worth much?  You need to speak confidently and positively about your work.  It’s the best you can make it, so sound like it.  Be proud of it.  Tell the editor why it’s going to sell magazine issues or books for him.  

 

Hook that Busy Editor

            A good hook line is more important in a query letter than anywhere else in your writing.  Notice that our novel query starts with Cassandra O’Leary on a speeding boat in the Bahamas fleeing for her life.  Who isn’t going to read on to see what happens?  That start is likely to snag the editor’s eye even if she does have 35 more queries to read before lunch. 

            That hook start is equally important in nonfiction.  Here is a typical ‘novice’ query sent to the editor of a flower-gardening magazine: 

 

            Dear Mr. Watts,

            I would like to send you an article on raising petunias.  The new varieties are quite showy and particularly good for hanging baskets.  I’ve been raising petunias for years and I know that lots of home gardeners have problems with the straggly look of petunia baskets in late season.  I can have a 1500 word article to you in about two weeks and I can include an interview with a well known plant breeder.  You can reach me at… 

            Again, the author is telling Mr. Watts about his article.  She starts out telling Mr. Watts that she offers an article on raising petunias, then she talks about the new varieties.  So what is she writing about? Petunia culture or the new varieties?  Mr. Watt isn’t going to ask her, he’s going to reject the query. 

            Mid-August and lush waves of dark purple and magenta flowers spill from huge hanging baskets on the town main street.  Surprise, they’re petunias!  In spite of the heat and the harsh conditions, these hardy new ‘wave’ varieties stay showy and lush well into fall.  I’d like to offer your readers a preview of the new petunia varieties being offered for hanging basket use.  Randy Welling, plant breeder at University of Columbia, offers a review of the exciting new colors hitting the market and some tips for getting the best show from your plants. 

            Here, our writer hooks the editor instantly with that glimpse of the lush waves of flowers.  What are they? The editor reads on.  He finds out that the writer is offering an article on new petunia varieties has mentioned the breeder specifically.  Clearly this article will be specifically about the new petunias and judging by the writing in the query, this writer will turn in something that will be entertaining to read. 

 

Hook More than Information

            Remember, you’re not just telling that editor what you have written or plan to write.  You are making that editor wants to read it.  The fiction editor gets many many queries every day, and many of them include very good ideas.  What you need to do is to hook the editor’s curiosity…or the agent’s for that matter.   It’s a good idea, yes, but more than that, he or she wants to find out what happens.  What comes next?  No, you don’t need to give the ending away.  Concentrate on making that brief ‘blurb’ about your story sound exciting and interesting.  If she/he wants to read the ending, that editor or agent can ask for the synopsis or the entire book!  

            For good examples of how to write a query blurb, read the blurbs on the back of mass market paperbacks or the inside cover of many hardcovers.  These will be very condensed versions of the plot high points and the ending is not included.  They’re designed to hook the bookstore browser to buy that book.  That’s what you want the editor to do, right?  Editors spend a lot of time perfecting these blurbs.  You need to spend an equal amount of time honing and perfecting your query blurb.  Remember, you need to keep it to a single paragraph.  Never let a query letter run longer than one page.  That tells your editor or agent that you are wordy. 

            That nonfiction editor gets tons of good article ideas every week.  Why should she/he ask for yours?  You need to let that editor know that you can write a sleek, entertaining article.  A good idea isn’t worth much if you bore the reader to tears.  Make that query as sleek and smooth as you can.  It’s a very good idea to use the same hook opening that you plan to use in your article as the opening to your query letter.  If you hook the editor, the editor knows you’ll hook the readers.  Just as with fiction queries, you need to limit your query to a single page and the shorter it is, the better.  The editor gets hundreds of queries every week.  Brevity implies that you can write tightly and to the point, and the editor does not have time to read long letters.

            That query letter is your introduction to the editor and if it’s a poor introduction, your article or novel simply won’t go any farther there.  Take the time to work on your query letter and polish your query-writing skills.  Refine it, refine it, refine it.  The more you practice, the more easily a tight, exciting query letter will come to you.